Tag Archives: review

Candy Review: Pucker Pieces Gourmet Candy Tarts

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Pucker Pieces

The compressed dextrose candy has long been a staple item of childhood candy diets. Never heard of it? You probably know it better as SweeTarts, Runts, and dozens more – that hard, yet powdery, melt-in-your mouth candy with the tangy flavor and slight cooling effect.

With Pucker Pieces Gourmet Candy Tarts, Creative Concepts Inc. (best known for its Pucker Powder powdered candy dispensers) seems to be trying to do for the compressed dextrose candy what Jelly Belly did for the jelly bean: use unique flavors and creative marketing to “gourmet-ify” it, transforming it into something that will appeal to adults as well as kids. Like Jelly Bellies, Pucker Pieces are displayed in bulk dispensers, allowing for the creation of custom flavor mixes.

If you know how compressed dextrose candies are made, it seems like a total no-brainer for a company that specializes in a powdered dextrose candy like Pucker Powder to move to hard tabs: just like the name implies, a powder made from dextrose (a type of sugar) and other ingredients is pressed into molds at super-high pressure, forming it into hard, yet still powdery, candy treats. (Pills are made the same way.) It seems like it would be a very simple matter to press straight-up Pucker Powder (or something very similar) into a more portable, less messy version of Creative Concepts’ flagship product.

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Candy Review: Classy Karma Candy

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Classy Karma Candy

With the popularity of yoga and its associated clothing, mats and other accessories, I guess it was only a matter of time until the popular fitness/relaxation stretching regime got its own signature candy – Classy Karma Candy Healthy Yoga Treats. Not that it isn’t a bit illogical – what makes less sense than having a post-workout candy treat to gain back all those lost calories?

Ah, but this is a healthy treat – or so the promotional material I received at the All Candy Expo claims. It’s “12 TIMES MORE POTENT than synthetic vitamin C,” contains “ALL NUTURAL (sic) ANTI AGING properties from powerful antioxidants,” and is made with “all-natural berries and spices with no processed sugar.” (The ingredients, however, say otherwise – the first two ingredients are sugar and glucose, which don’t just pop out of the sugarcane without SOME level of processing.)

These are made by the Classy Candy Company, a new company – as far as I could tell, the candies are only available for sale on Classy Candy’s website (which was clearly written by a non-native English speaker – I found its enthusiastic, if slightly fractured, copy kind of charming).

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Candy Review: Trader Joe’s Gummy Tummies Penguins

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Trader Joe's Gummy Tummies Penguins

I don’t like gummies. I don’t even remember why, it’s been so long since I tasted any. So why did I buy these? Because I can’t resist anything animal-shaped. And I couldn’t resist the peculiar appeal of an animal-shaped candy with a gut full of liquid.

To be honest, I didn’t really expect these to be good to eat. I expected that I would order an Avenging Narwhal Playset from Archie McPhee and then instead of having the narwhal spear the little plastic penguin through the belly, I’d use these. And they’d OOZE GUTS. And I’d take pictures. What could be better?

But I never got to do that, for a surprising reason: They all got eaten!

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Candy Review: Joyva Jell Rings

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Joyva Jell Rings

As I discovered while doing my Great Chocolate Experiments, there are very few candies that aren’t improved by a good coating of chocolate. (Other food products, however, are a different story.) Chocolate-covered marshmallows are my sentimental favorite, but I’m also fond of chocolate-covered gummies – sometimes it’s nice to have a denser, more substantial texture to contrast with the crisp chocolate coating.

Unfortunately, chocolate-coated gummies are a lot harder to find than chocolate-coated marshmallows – I can name Muddy Bears, the chocolate-coated jellies in Bridge Mixture, and Canada’s Big Turk bar. And now, I can add Joyva Jell Rings to that short list.

Manufactured by Brooklyn’s Joyva Corp., these raspberry-flavored, chocolate-covered jelly rings appear to be completely vegan – they’re thickened with agar-agar, a seaweed derivative, rather than the more usual gelatin, and the dark chocolate coating contains no dairy products.

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Candy Review: Chews Better Candy

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Chews Better Chews

Chews Better has the following motto appearing on its packages and website: “The candy healthy people chews!” What? Aside from the hopeful claim about which candy healthy people chew, it sure looks like a grammatical boner. But have I misread the motto? Perhaps the motto’s last word isn’t a mis-conjugated verb, but a plural noun? If that’s so, then we’d have to read “candy healthy people” as an adjectival phrase to modify those “chews.” Does that work? What kind of chews would “candy healthy people” chews be? Beats the hell out of me. Thus I return to grammar police hypothesis number one: Chews Better has a screwed up motto. If they can’t edit, can they make candy?

Chews Better sent me two flavors: Pomegranate Blueberry Acai, and Strawberry Lemonade. And as the motto tried to communicate, these candies are meant to be healthy for you. They’re described as “All-Natural Chewy Candies with Vitamins and Fiber.” Surely this is making you nervous about the taste, right? Well, keep your beanie on straight.

Chews Better Pomegranate Blueberry Acai is a small, 26g (.9 oz) package. Each has five individually wrapped candies, and this flavor has 100% Vitamin C, 50% Vitamins B3, B5, B6, and B12, 3g of Fiber, and only 100 calories. Each chew is wrapped in silver and looks from the outside like a beef bullion cube. But it smells like a strong fruit medley upon unwrapping, and my nose finds this promising. Time for a bite.

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