I haven’t posted a review here for a while, but it’s not because I haven’t been eating candy. It’s because I made the mistake of saying that I would review these Target chocolates, and I have been unable to face up to it. It’s just too depressing.
I have prided myself on always being able to get something to write out of a candy – if it’s terrible, at least finding something funny to say about it. But there’s nothing funny about how bad these are.
It’s just totally depressing that Target thinks they can fool us into thinking that these are ‘artisan truffles’ just because they have fashionable flavor names and are visually a poor imitation of the most high-end sort of chocolate, and that it doesn’t matter that as something to actually eat, they’re totally awful.
These chocolates have a flat surface on top, on which are the kind of decorations that look like paint, with geometric patterns in primary colors, that you see on some brands of very fancy handmade filled chocolates. They’re cheap-looking but you can tell that they’re trying to imitate something like – no, actually, I’m not even going to link to the other chocolates I’ve reviewed here that do this kind of thing, because it would be a complete sacrilege to mention them in the same review as these.
They also allegedly come in exotic flavors, at least as far as the labels on the side of the box claim: pear caramel, cardamom, chile, Thai coconut, mango, and key lime.
I say “allegedly” because the fillings bear little resemblance to any decent version of those flavors. The key lime is reminiscent of the smell of lemon dishwashing liquid. The mango is probably some kind of fruit. You get the picture.
And the chocolate itself is perfectly awful. The texture is waxy, the flavor is bland and vaguely stale. I’d rather eat a Hershey’s bar, and just so you know, in my book that’s a pretty terrible insult.
I guess this is not surprising – what do you expect from “artisan” truffles that cost five dollars a box? But it’s depressing that Target, which is a brand that so many people have a sort of inexplicably good feeling about, should mess this shamefully with their reputation – and our palates.
I’ve been dissapointed by these too. At least they are cheaper than most things that say “artisan.”
October 12th, 2009 at 11:17 amNice to see you back again!
I too tried these and couldn’t even muster a review of them. Not I thought they were horrid, but not good enough to eat without forcing myself … and what’s the point of that if it’s candy? I agree they were waxy and uninspired and certainly not worth the price.
October 12th, 2009 at 11:33 amI’m curious about something: Is Choxie considered “real” chocolate, or is it mockolate in disguise?
October 13th, 2009 at 3:23 amI wish I could check the label for the ingredients in the chocolate in these. But I was so pleased to finally be able to throw them out that I did so immediately after posting the review.
October 13th, 2009 at 10:25 amwow…last year I tried the chocolate flakey truffles…EW. They are not flaky, but have “flakes” stuck to the outside of the truffle…maybe it was just the pack I bought, but it seemed like they were too soft and slightly melted, with no delicious truffle shell. The chocolate tastes like something I could have bought at the dollar store, but these truffles put me back about $3.00 for a pack of 2.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:35 pmWell, I guess the “discount designer” concept works better for Michael Graves tea kettles than for chocolate truffles. I guess I’m not too surprised, quality of ingredients matters more than superficial looks in these candies. Choxsie? Sounds like it should have been “chalk-sie.” Maybe they’ll do better next time.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:42 amIf the writer of this review had liked these “Artisan” things, I would NEVER visit this website again. I have not eaten these, I did try some other god awful product of theirs, and I can honestly say it was, not only the worst chocolate I have ever eaten, but the worst thing I have ever eaten EVER. I tell everyone I know to stay away from this brand, and everyone I have talked with who has had it agrees with me, it should be pulled from the shelfs and never see the light of day again.
October 15th, 2009 at 12:09 amWhew! Each time I go to Target I ponder the Choxie brand and debate with myself about buying some. Now I don’t have to give that any further consideration! It’s too bad, because the packaging is cute & different and the marketing is clever.
October 15th, 2009 at 10:07 amThe thing about Choxie is that it’s a huge “brand” an is made by a bunch of different companies behind the scenes. Some of the stuff is good and some is just awful. Dismissing the whole line because of one bad decision by Target to include something isn’t necessarily a mistake, but more like throwing the baby out with the bathwater (if you liked the baby).
I liked their panned items (nuts & caramels) but find their truffles sickly sweet, poorly tempered & badly flavored. Their bars are quite refreshing and usually very well priced.
But hey, stick with what you already know you love … can’t go wrong there!
October 15th, 2009 at 1:18 pmI’ve had several things out of the Choxie line and I hate them all, including their panned items. It’s all foul tasting crap to me. I’v always wanted to try these truffle tiles. But since I’ve loathed everything of theirs I’ve had, these will certainly not be any different. One thing I refuse to compromise on is the chocolate I eat, and if I have to pay an arm and a leg more power to me.
October 15th, 2009 at 5:44 pmI Loved these. except espresso and chile
February 24th, 2010 at 12:12 am