Monthly Archives: July 2009

Candy Review: Trader Joe’s Gummy Tummies Penguins

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Trader Joe's Gummy Tummies Penguins

I don’t like gummies. I don’t even remember why, it’s been so long since I tasted any. So why did I buy these? Because I can’t resist anything animal-shaped. And I couldn’t resist the peculiar appeal of an animal-shaped candy with a gut full of liquid.

To be honest, I didn’t really expect these to be good to eat. I expected that I would order an Avenging Narwhal Playset from Archie McPhee and then instead of having the narwhal spear the little plastic penguin through the belly, I’d use these. And they’d OOZE GUTS. And I’d take pictures. What could be better?

But I never got to do that, for a surprising reason: They all got eaten!

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Candy Review: Joyva Jell Rings

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Joyva Jell Rings

As I discovered while doing my Great Chocolate Experiments, there are very few candies that aren’t improved by a good coating of chocolate. (Other food products, however, are a different story.) Chocolate-covered marshmallows are my sentimental favorite, but I’m also fond of chocolate-covered gummies – sometimes it’s nice to have a denser, more substantial texture to contrast with the crisp chocolate coating.

Unfortunately, chocolate-coated gummies are a lot harder to find than chocolate-coated marshmallows – I can name Muddy Bears, the chocolate-coated jellies in Bridge Mixture, and Canada’s Big Turk bar. And now, I can add Joyva Jell Rings to that short list.

Manufactured by Brooklyn’s Joyva Corp., these raspberry-flavored, chocolate-covered jelly rings appear to be completely vegan – they’re thickened with agar-agar, a seaweed derivative, rather than the more usual gelatin, and the dark chocolate coating contains no dairy products.

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Candy Review: Chews Better Candy

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Chews Better Chews

Chews Better has the following motto appearing on its packages and website: “The candy healthy people chews!” What? Aside from the hopeful claim about which candy healthy people chew, it sure looks like a grammatical boner. But have I misread the motto? Perhaps the motto’s last word isn’t a mis-conjugated verb, but a plural noun? If that’s so, then we’d have to read “candy healthy people” as an adjectival phrase to modify those “chews.” Does that work? What kind of chews would “candy healthy people” chews be? Beats the hell out of me. Thus I return to grammar police hypothesis number one: Chews Better has a screwed up motto. If they can’t edit, can they make candy?

Chews Better sent me two flavors: Pomegranate Blueberry Acai, and Strawberry Lemonade. And as the motto tried to communicate, these candies are meant to be healthy for you. They’re described as “All-Natural Chewy Candies with Vitamins and Fiber.” Surely this is making you nervous about the taste, right? Well, keep your beanie on straight.

Chews Better Pomegranate Blueberry Acai is a small, 26g (.9 oz) package. Each has five individually wrapped candies, and this flavor has 100% Vitamin C, 50% Vitamins B3, B5, B6, and B12, 3g of Fiber, and only 100 calories. Each chew is wrapped in silver and looks from the outside like a beef bullion cube. But it smells like a strong fruit medley upon unwrapping, and my nose finds this promising. Time for a bite.

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Candy Review: Lindt Raisin & Nuts Bar

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Lindt Raisin and Nuts

Lindt chocolate is what I consider a higher quality chocolate, definitely better-tasting, more “sophisticated,” if you will, than Hershey or M&Ms chocolate. Of course, if you put the words “Swiss made” on anything, I get a little dreamy eyed. To make things even better, Lindt chocolates are available at common stores like Wal-Mart and Target. That means when I go grocery shopping I can buy whole wheat bread for my health and premium chocolate for my happiness. Lindt is like the best of both worlds – high quality and affordable.

When I found out Lindt would be sending me a milk chocolate bar to review, I was excited but then promptly forgot about it. (Just like I forget to put the clothes in the dryer when they’re finished washing…) When the bar arrived, I was surprised and a little apprehensive to see that they’d sent me their new Raisin & Nuts Classic Recipe bar. I, uh, don’t like raisins… but I do like nuts! I can handle this.

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Candy Review: de la Rosa and Mi Mazapan Peanut Candy

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Mazapan Candy

One of the things I always find interesting when traveling in the United States is the prevalence of Hispanic culture compared to in Canada – I guess Mexican immigrants who make it over the border into the United States are usually content to stop there rather than venturing further north.

In my limited experience, it seems to me that the “ethnic” section of American grocery stores always has a wide selection of Mexican foods, while where I live, you’re more likely to find Vietnamese rice noodles or Thai and Indian curry pastes there, with Mexican foods relegated to a small (and totally inauthentic) selection of taco seasoning mixes, burrito shells and salsas. Needless to say, in this city, Mexican candy is pretty much nonexistent.

I have to admit, I haven’t been terribly broken up about this fact – Mexican candy’s widespread use of chili, tamarind and salt (all fine ingredients – just not necessarily in a candy setting), its distressing tendency to get contaminated with lead, and a generally negative impression from the Internet food scene, have ensured that I haven’t had much desire to add Mexican treats to my candy repertoire.

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