We may be in the midst of a recession, but that doesn’t mean you have to abandon the pursuit of true Candy Addictedness. Welcome to Part 2 of It Came From The Dollar Store: The Cheapo Holiday Candy Special. In Part 1, we reviewed the surprisingly not-terrible Whipped Creme Santa. This second item also features the jolly old elf in candy form – this time in real marshmallow rather than gooey marshmallow creme.
The Marshmallow Treats Santa (no brand name other than “Imported by Dollaramaâ€) is made of that dense, industrial-grade marshmallow that’s also used in those life-sized marshmallow hamburgers you used to see all over the place. It has a generic, but not unpleasant, fruity smell, reminding me of the Leftovers Gummies I reviewed at Halloween. (Seeing as those were kind of terrible, that might not be a good sign.)
Marshmallow Santa’s actually a really good-looking guy – his facial features are well-formed, not blobby, with very good color separation. With his red nose and black eyes, he bears a striking resemblance to the Santa from the old stop-motion Rudolph special. A coating of sugar adds an attractive sparkly effect.
Now, I like marshmallow candies, but seeing this giant slab of dense, heavy, artificial fruit-smelling marshmallow did give me pause – good looks aside, it seemed like the kind of treat that only sugar-starved kids, easily attracted by bright colors and large quantities of cheap low-quality candy, could appreciate. Would Marshmallow Santa taste as good as he looked – or is this type of marshmallow better for sculpting than for eating?
When I bit in, I first got a pleasant crispness from the sugar coating, like Peeps. Then the heavy, intensely sweet artificial strawberry flavor kicked in. It actually did resemble the flavor of the Leftovers Gummies, but at least it worked better in marshmallow form.
Santa’s a lot heavier than you’d think for a guy made from a substance that’s supposed to be mostly air, and one bite told me why – the marshmallow is very dense and chewy. It’s OK for the first few bites, but I was overwhelmed by the heavy texture, intense sweetness and artificial flavor before I could do more than nibble away Santa’s hat. There’s no way I’m finishing this thing before it goes stale.
In short, this is definitely a treat that only kids could appreciate – which doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t buy them something more worthwhile. Even for dollar store candy, this is scraping the dregs.
Stay tuned for the final installment of the Cheapo Holiday Candy Special, when we’ll be exploring the mysteries lurking deep within the Sugar House.
