In my day, I was an avid trick-or-treater. Straight through high school, pillowcases served as bags; loot was measured in pounds; and Snickers, Milky Ways, and Starbursts were blissfully consumed for months. Until that inevitable dark day, that is, when I would go to my closet after school, reach deep into my dwindling stash, and come up with a handful of Tootsie Rolls, Dum-Dums, and that curse of a confection, the bane of my Halloween-loving existence, Bit-O-Honeys. Bit-O-Honeys were the one candy that I disliked so much I would not eat them even in these desperate times and they were utterly un-tradeable. Who, my young mind wondered, likes these things? And what on earth are they?

Well Jerry Seinfeld, it turns out, is a big fan. They’re his fave. And if that’s not reason for further investigation now that I’m older and wiser and further removed from the anger, then I certainly don’t know what is. And so, finally, I sought some answers.

Bit-O-Honeys were first introduced in 1924 by Chicago’s Schutter-Johnson Company and were acquired, in 1984, by the Nestle Company who continues to produce them today. They are the sole survivor of the Bit-O family, which at one time also included Bit-O-Choc, Bit-O-Coconut, Bit-O-Licorice, and Bit-O-Peanut Butter. (Who knew?) This honey-flavored taffy embedded with almond bits (a candy twin of Necco’s Mary Jane) is not easy to find these days, but the shiny, almond-flecked, café-au-lait-colored treat comes in two forms: a full-size bar and bite-size pieces.

FULL-SIZE BAR: I managed to track this down in that Mecca for obscure candy, The 99-Cent Store. It is considerately divided into six segments and wrapped in easy-to-remove wax paper (none of the sticky, frustrating mess that I seem to remember from childhood). It has a mild honey aroma and bends easily but breaks roughly in two, rather than stretching.

BITE-SIZE PIECES (the instigator of so much of my anguish): Pilfered from a mixed bag where they were – I thought, incongruously – cohabitating with SweeTarts Chews and Sprees, these noticeably retained the very sweet, fruity scent of their pre-packaged partners. They were softer, stretchier, and all-around more taffy-like than their full-size counterpart, leading me to suspect a difference in freshness as the culprit.

Both samples tasted almost identical: a benign honey flavor with very subtle and rare reminders of the almonds – no nutty crunch that, I think, would provide an excellent textural balance. Despite my bad memories, I have to admit, my reunion with Bit-O-Honey wasn’t wholly unpleasant; the degree of chewiness was very nice, it didn’t stick in my teeth or threaten my fillings, and it left a mild sweetness lingering in my mouth. And I’d call that a victory for Nestle.

But I’m just not all that fond of honey, I guess, because – while it didn’t offend or infuriate me like it once had – Bit-O-Honey didn’t excite me, either. If honey’s your thing, this treat’s for you; henceforth I, however, shall look to Jerry Seinfeld for comedy only – not candy. But thanks for the memories, Jer.

• Nestle’s Bit-O-Honey Webpage

Buy Bit-O-Honey Online:

• at Amazon.com
• at Candy Direct
• at Old Time Candy
• in bulk at Candy Crate