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Marcella’s Top Five Most Embarrassing Candy Moments

Categories: Candy,Chocolate Candy,Gummi/Gummy Candy,Top 10 Lists


Chocolate Chamber Pot

I like to think that I’m not the only person who has a long list of embarrassing moments. We’re all human, after all, and I know at least some of you have accidentally walked into a wall or two or ripped the seat of your pants at an inopportune moment. These things happen–possibly to me more than most. As a result of my undeniable knack of humiliating myself and my likewise undeniable love of all things candy, I’d like to share with you my Top Five Most Embarrassing Candy Moments.

5. The Chocolate in my Pocket. After an intense conversation about my future with The Boss at work one day, I made an emphatic gesture with my hand and then shoved it into the pocket of my pants. I immediately felt the undeniable squelch of a forgotten and completely melted piece of a formerly wrapped Dove milk chocolate. Apparently, I made a face. The Boss asked what was wrong and I was forced to admit what had happened.

4. The Sweatshirt of Shame. On my sixteenth birthday, my mother had the bright idea to take an oversized teal sweatshirt and safety pin wrapped pieces of candy all over it. My mother claimed this was the thing to do for a “sweet sixteen” and insisted that I wear the atrocity to school.

3. The Gummi Bear Choke. While on a date, I choked on a green gummi bear. Not just tears in the eyes and a slight cough but an all out I-thought-I-was-dying choke. Luckily, I didn’t. But is there much worse than almost kicking the bucket in front of a cute boy? And the cause of death being a gummi bear?

2. The Hershey’s Slumber Party. After celebrating New Year’s Eve several years ago, I ended up sleeping on the floor of my pal’s living room. The next morning, I woke up completely covered in streaks of chocolate. I had somehow managed to fall asleep on several Hershey’s Kisses. During the course of my tossing and turning, they left chocolatey trails all over my clothing and face. Yes, there were many witnesses. No, they have never let me live this down.

1. The Chocolate Chamber Pot. I held a fundraising event in my home last fall and to class the joint up a bit, I borrowed a friend’s chocolate fountain. The night was heaven – the chocolate flowed like wine, and the wine flowed like…even more wine. Toward the end of the evening, I decided to enlist one of the dozen remaining guests to help me clean the chocolate fountain. I then dumped the molten chocolate into my toilet. I like to think I’m a pretty intelligent person, but I must admit I was genuinely shocked when the chocolate solidified and completely clogged the toilet. An hour and my dignity later, the bathroom was again functioning.

So that’s my list of embarrassing candy moments. Anyone else have some to share? Surely I’m not alone in candy embarrassment??? Please leave your own most shameful candy-related moments in the comment section. Misery loves company, right?

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20 Responses to “Marcella’s Top Five Most Embarrassing Candy Moments”

  1. 1
    JellyBean says:

    These definitely beat my moment of shame that came in first grade when a purple rainblow gumball rolled from across the room to my teachers feet. I was trying to sneak it but was caught red handed and made up a lie about it being my medecine!

  2. 2
    Brian says:

    Not really embarrassing but I actually broke a tooth (as an adult) on a jawbreaker. Seriously.

  3. 3
    Krista says:

    It use to be every time my boyfriend did laundry he’d find balls made up of the gum wrappers I’d left in my pants pockets…he didn’t tell me until I was helping him do laundry one day and he said “Oh I hate those things” and I was like “What are those?” and he was like “You’re gum wrappers”…oops.

    Another event, same boyfriend, there was a boy that was trying to get my attention in hopes of getting me to choose him over said boyfriend…so he would buy me candy. Well, I had no interest in this boy, and I told him so time and time again…but how can you pass up a bag of gummy spiders in the middle of a work day? Or sour patch kids at lunch time? My boyfriend caught on and bought me some candy …though it wasn’t necessary.

  4. 4
    Carly says:

    So I’m driving to my kids’ music class and I am eating a piece of chocolate in the car. We get to the class and begin dancing and singing as we crazy moms do, when another mom comes up to me and whispers that I may have gotten my period b/c I have something on the butt of my pants! Yep- a bit of the chocolate I was eating fell between my legs while I was driving and it melted between my crotch and my butt. NICE. We switched music classes!

  5. 5
    amypaige says:

    In high school, there was one class (Western Civilization) that allowed us to chew gum or have drinks in class. As a gum chewer, I often had a piece. Unfortunately, I was called on just after putting a fresh piece of gum in my mouth. The gum was still in the stage of being chewed up and was really big in my mouth. I tried to shove it into my cheek to respond, but when I opened my mouth and began to speak, the giant wad of gum fell out of my mouth, onto my desk, then to the floor. The entire class erupted in laughter. I laughed too, but I was mortified. I’m sure I was beet red.

  6. 6
    BlessedBlogger says:

    Once I slit my tongue open on a sucker, blood galore, those things are dangerous! And once when I was five I stole a pack of gum from the gas station but burst into tears as soon as I got into the parking lot, returned to the store and told the cashier to arrest me.

    But, the most embarrassing candy related event was a slumber party at a friends house when I was in first grade. Her parents left us alone in the house the following morning for a couple of hours and while they were away we got into the pantry and found about two pounds of chocolate her mom was going to cook with and a large jug of cider. We had no idea it was hard cider, drank the whole thing and got totally smashed. Imagine her mom’s face when she comes home to find us both passed out on the white carpeted stairs which are now covered in chocolate/cider puke. It was a good lesson though, I never wanted to feel that awful again and haven’t had but a handful of drinks in the 25+ years since.

  7. 7
    Julie says:

    Yeah, y’all know I would definitely have an embarassing candy moment to share! Which one do I choose, is the question, however?

    Would it be the night in college when I drank a large quantity of beer with friends in my dorm room and then decided I could handle an entire bag of licorice – not the red stuff masquerading as “licorice,” but the black, real deal? Guess the results. In front of my floor’s (teetotalling and very prudish) Resident Assistant and a bunch of her just-came-home-from-the-movies friends? And I mean right in front of her door, too. No, not embarassing enough.

    OK, how about this one: somehow (and given my candy addict-ness, I have no idea how), there was chocolate in the car in the Texas summer heat and didn’t realize that it was underneath a t-shirt that I’d tossed back there. I discovered that it was quite a lot of it, too, i.e., not just a Kiss or two. I was at the lake for a picnic and headed off to the woods to relieve myself of accumulated beverages, and decided to lay down for a little rest in the shade of the car on my way back. I just dove on top of the t-shirt, wadding it up at the same time to use for a pillow, and wound up wadding up a melted, chocolate mess! So now it’s all over me and the ONLY place to wash it off is the lake. In front of my friends. Whom I told I was headed to the woods to “use the bathroom!” Oh yeah, it was classic.

  8. 8
    AntFan says:

    This is more of a candy bummer. Okay, who has NOT done this… or at least know someone who has.
    Picture these three things:

    1) Open bag of M&Ms.

    2) Car Dashboard.

    3) Curvy Road.

    If you don’t have a wry smile on your face yet, then it hasn’t happened to you. After all of my M&Ms went into the defrosting vents of my friend’s car, I was mad, and then I was embarrassed. I felt like I possibly ruined his car and I appologized. It was the middle of a very cold winter. Every once in a while when we turned on the heat, we thought we could smell them. We could certainly hear them on curvy roads, and it always made us laugh. He eventually drove on the curvier roads on purpose whenever another friend was in the car. The new car guests would eventually ask “What is that?” and my friend when point at me and say “His M&Ms!” and everyone would laugh. Then the warm summer started. You could really smell them when it started getting warmer out. Especially when the temp started getting around 100+ degrees. He sold the car that summer. By the time it sold, there was no more “rolling” sounds, but it came to its new owner with that “new-chocolate-car smell.” I am sure the M&Ms eventually molded or attracted all sorts of bugs.

  9. 9
    Dan Neitzel says:

    that picture of you at the toilet makes me laugh everytime i see it. It makes my day so my day will be made for the next month or so!

  10. 10
    Mandy says:

    I can’t think of any embarrassing stories to share with y’all… BUT I have SO enjoyed reading everyones moments. TeeHee! I know I’m a lame-o for not sharing a story. But I truly can’t think of one. I guess I only had serious candy moments. :)

  11. 11
    Kay says:

    I normally never get chocolate anywher when I eat, but I have a pair of pants that I call “The Cursed Chocolate Pants”. They are a pair of black work slacks that I wear, and every time I put them one I say “Now, you are not going to eat chocolate today!” Sinful, I know, but I can have plenty of delicious candies that aren’t chocolate. Then I somehow start eating chocolate anyway, forgetting that I’m wearing the pants. I can be eating a chocolate bar, M & M’s, Ferrero’s, any sort of chocolate, and I’ll get tons of tiny chocolate flakes all over the front and back of these pants. No idea how. It’s the weirdest thing.

    BlessedBlogger, not a sucker for me, but a rootbeer barrel. I still eat them and usually end up cutting my tongue every time.

  12. 12
    jess says:

    when i was little my dentist gave us these free passes to go preview a movie before it hit the theater, he was in the theater as well. I was sitting next to my dad eating milk duds and i bit into one and felt something really hard, then i started to taste blood i spit out the milk dud and out came one of my teeth lol. i have not had milk duds since.

  13. 13
    Corey says:

    I can’t think of any particularly embarrassing candy moments but jsut wanted to say that the chocolate clogging the toilet is hilarious!

    And your mom really made you go to school with candy pinned to your shirt?!? Is her name Cruella by any chance?

  14. 14
    Billie Jo says:

    Ok when I was 16 I worked in a candy store called Sweet On You and My older sister was working the till and she started to tell me a joke. I just bought some Cotton candy jelly Beans and was eating them as she was telling me this very funny joke but when she got to the punch-line I laughed so hard the Cotton Candy Jelly Belly when shooting up my nose! By the time I got it out It was 45 min later and I had to go to the ER! I feel you pain!

  15. 15
    ali says:

    this thread has me doubled over laughing! i have nothing so funny to tell, but one of my baby teeth came out in a hard toffee i was chewing and it was peeking out of the very middle of the toffee. it looked like modern art. i dug it out and washed it for the tooth fairy though :)

  16. 16
    Marcella says:

    I love you guys! These stories have me in complete giggle fits. Oh, and I remembered another candy-related shameful moment:

    One evening last summer, my sister and I ordered sushi and while driving to pick it up, decided to stop and get some candy (Nerds Rope, Spree, Gummi Worms, etc.).

    When we returned to the car, we realized we had locked the keys inside. We bickered and giggled as to whose fault it was, but the pull of our waiting sushi was too great.

    We began the walk to the restaurant and further giggled about the locked car and the chaos that our unnecessary candy stop had caused. I started laughing so hard that I peed myself. To be accurate, I peed my skirt. While carrying my huge bag of candy. A local homeless man was walking by at the time and witnessed the whole thing, including the sidewalk puddle–and gave me a horrified look when I tossed my underwear into some nearby shrubbery before, quite literally, running away in shame.

  17. 17
    Alex G says:

    ok, i was about 10, and my favorite candy at the time was milk duds (they are still one of my favourite)

    and it was christmas, and my parents got me a quite large (For my size, anyway) box for me to enjoy

    i would always freeze half, then eat the others right out of the box…

    i had my one last baby tooth, not even loose! i had to go to the dentist to have it pulled

    as i was delightfully eating a frozen one, i was talking with my brother and it had slowly but surely thawd a bit, as i went to bite it in half (wich i always do with frozen chocolate) i got stuck, and when i took it out, there it was, my last baby tooth

  18. 18
    Sid says:

    I have not told anyone of this day since it happened, but since you can share anything with strangers.. I’ll tell you guys.

    1) It was a Saturday that I lost my first baby tooth on a sugar daddy and I screamed (couldn’t finish the sugar daddy). I put the whole thing in a zip lock and put it under my pillow and the tooth faerie felt so bad she left a $20 and some bubble gum.

    2) On Sunday I fell asleep with said bubble gum in my mouth and the next day I had to go to school with a new hair cut.

    3) When I told my friends why I had to get a new hair cut, they giggled so much the teacher asked them what was so funny and so they inadvertantly told the whole class of my sugar daddy/bubble gum horror. I cried. The teacher gave me a lemon drop and I was sobbing so bad I choked. Yay for the Heimlich maneuver!

    I had such a bad day that day that I was sent home early from school. I still, to this very day, have not eaten another sugar daddy or that brand of gum… although I still love me some lemon drops.

  19. 19
    lollirocks says:

    Aww.. Poor sid!

  20. 20
    Lora says:

    One day a coworker, who I usually tried to avoid due to his annoying habit of making jokes at other people’s expense, had a box of Hershey chocolates on his desk. Feeling a chocolate craving, I innocently asked, “may I have a kiss?” It took him a few minutes to think of a comeback because he couldn’t stop laughing. It became an office-wide joke to ask me for kisses.

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