Beware the Destroyer, a strange and powerful being who unleashes unwanted knowledge at unexpected time, often unaware that his or her simple comment has the power to ruin a perfectly good thing for years and years to come.
You may have come across a Destroyer during your lifetime: they often show up around Christmas, or Easter, or whenever one of your teeth falls out after second grade, if you know what I mean. They like to tell you what does or does not exist. They’re also very good at describing the makeup of hot dogs.
I’ve been a Destroyer before, simply by mentioning that I wasn’t a big fan of the cream cheese frosting that lined the top of the carrot cake my very best friend was eating at the time. Horrified at the concept of cream cheese on cake, my friend promptly spit out his dessert and hasn’t had a piece of carrot cake in over 7 years.
I don’t remember who the Destroyer in my life was, but I do remember what they told me: “Eating raw cookie dough will kill you.”
It isn’t a lie, really: eating raw cookie dough increases your risk of coming down with salmonella poisoning, thanks to the raw eggs in the batter. But what a loss it was, to have cookie dough taken from my life! A substitute was found in eggless dough (blech), and, later, cookie dough ice cream, but nothing tastes quite like the real thing.
Naturally, I was excited when the box of Dark Chocolate Covered Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Bites arrived at my house. Brian had reviewed the milk chocolate version last year, and presented it with the Awesomely Addictive award, so my hopes were quite high.
While I can’t say these little nuggets of doughy delight are AA-Award worthy, I will say that they’re pretty tasty. I have to agree with Brian’s review: the texture of this candy is absolutely perfect.
The cookie dough retains the soft, grainy feel of real dough, and collapses on to the teeth with a soft, squishy burst of sweetness and grit. The dark chocolate coating was a bit bland, and certainly weaker than the deep, roasted smell of the candy promised.
While chewing, I couldn’t help thinking, “This tastes like something, this tastes like something….”, and finally I realized what it was: these bites are extremely similar to Balance Cookie Dough bars. The texture and cookie dough taste is exactly the same. If you enjoy these bites, I suggest you pick up a Balance bar as well.
All in all, Dark Chocolate Cookie Dough Bites are a decent treat. They’re no replacement for cookie dough, but what is? The taste is secondary to the texture here, so I think these would work much better as an add-in (say, to popcorn) or as a topping (on ice cream, perhaps) than as a stand-alone candy.
And if a Destroyer sees you eating these and insists that cookie dough is the gateway to Salmonellaville, tell him to relax: these bad boys are 100% egg free.
Sadly, carrot cake still has cream cheese frosting. But you didn’t hear that from me.
Buy Dark Chocolate Covered Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Bites online:
- at CandyDirect
Actually Alton Brown said on Good Eats once that with today’s technology effecting today’s raw eggs you would have to eat a dozen raw eggs a day for a long time to get food poisoning. I like the other chocolate chip cookie dough bites I might give these a try :)
November 9th, 2007 at 11:43 pmI have always wondered how these were, but were never brave enough to eat any. Thanks for the review…I may have to pick up a box now!
November 10th, 2007 at 4:41 amI had some of these when they first came out at a movie theater. I still think they’re gross though!
November 10th, 2007 at 5:53 pmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM COOKIE DOUGH BITES
March 5th, 2008 at 10:05 pm