I haven’t posted a review here for a while, but it’s not because I haven’t been eating candy. It’s because I made the mistake of saying that I would review these Target chocolates, and I have been unable to face up to it. It’s just too depressing.

I have prided myself on always being able to get something to write out of a candy – if it’s terrible, at least finding something funny to say about it. But there’s nothing funny about how bad these are.

It’s just totally depressing that Target thinks they can fool us into thinking that these are ‘artisan truffles’ just because they have fashionable flavor names and are visually a poor imitation of the most high-end sort of chocolate, and that it doesn’t matter that as something to actually eat, they’re totally awful.

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I have a ton of candy left to review from the All Candy Expo, but I decided I needed a small break from upcoming candy to review some of the candy I already had that happens to have a short lifespan.

My good friend Greg was kind enough to pick up some candy for me from his recent expedition to Europe, which resulted in me receiving a box of Pierre Marcolini truffles. For those of you not familiar with Mr. Marcolini’s work, he is a Parisian chocolatier who travels the world in order to find the best ingredients and flavors for his chocolate.

The round, 15-piece box containing small, spherical truffles dusted in cocoa and set in what looks like a couture hatbox is valued at almost $50, so these are most likely out of your typical Candy Addict’s price range. I was super excited to try them knowing I would otherwise probably never taste such a thing.

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Before attending the All Candy Expo, all the registered press people were sent dozens and dozens of press releases from various companies advertising their products and inviting us to drop by their booths. That is where I first heard about Landrin Waferatto USA.

The company’s roots date back to the nineteenth century when Georg Landrin began preparing confections for the Imperial Court of Russia. The reputation of his delicacies spread throughout the country and Europe, earning his products notoriety for their quality ingredients and taste.

Landrin USA was recently founded with the intent to market a line of truffles with designs and packaging inspired by couture fashion and art – i.e., appealing to women. I remember checking out some of the photos from their press release to discover all their boxes adorned with orchids, chiffon prints, the elegance of a perfume box, and they somehow unfolded into vases when you opened them.

Elaborate much? Maybe. But the principal and design is aesthetically sound, which is why it’s a current silver finalist for two of the 2009 Sofi Awards (Specialty Outstanding Food Innovation). But part of me didn’t want to like these. They were too pretty. They were too girly.

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When I recently reviewed Wiseman House Almond Toffee, I alluded to the fact that my friend Greg (still awesome) not only purchased a bag of their Almond Toffee, but also a small baton of truffles.

The truffles are actually what first gave notoriety to this small line of high-end confections. Founders Kevin and LaDonne Wenzel had a dream about settling in the country and making chocolates out of their own home. In 1996, they purchased a house designed by artist Rufus Wiseman and began creating chocolates with the intention of crafting something pure, fresh, and delicious.

Neither Kevin nor LaDonne anticipated the immense popularity of their chocolate. Originally, their intention was only to give out the chocolates to family, friends, neighbors, and the occasional person who passed through the town of Hico, Texas. That all changed when a reporter stumbled through, sampled their products, and wrote a front-page review about them for a national publication.

There are many truffles sold by Wiseman House, but the box for sale at the food and wine festival was what they call their Wild Woman Baton – a six-piece assortment of truffles made of dark chocolate.

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I am, admittedly, not a big fan of sharing. At the risk of making myself appear greedy, selfish, and all-around less likable, I will openly acknowledge here that my own personal philosophy is that every effort should be made to minimize the amount of sharing one ever has to do. Sure, there are exceptions when sharing is okay – sometimes even nice (think first-date milkshake with two straws, cable bills, and household chores) – but as a general rule, I think it’s best avoided.

When I received my generous shipment of Ugly Truffles and Damn Good Cookies from Chocolate Gourmet, however, I immediately recognized that the only way I’d be able to review such a quantity of treats in a timely manner, without making myself deliciously ill, would be to invite my friend, a sweet-toothed vixen herself, over for a night of eating chocolate. And oh, what a night it was.

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