When it comes to jellybeans, it’s hard to compete with Jelly Belly’s multitude of flavors and all-around deliciousness. Still, each year at Easter, jellybean assortments start popping up all over the place. When I spied the display of Trader Joe’s Gourmet Jellybeans, which are made “with colors from fruit & vegetable sources,” I knew I had to try them out. After all, how can I claim that Jelly Belly is best unless I’ve personally sampled all the competing brands?

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In the new year, I am resolving to eat less candy. Or, maybe I’ll just eat better candy. More adult-sounding candy, whose packaging uses words “dark” and “nib.” Candy that sounds like a luxurious decadent indulgence, but is only one calorie per piece. Move over Tic Tacs. There’s a new girl in town and her name is Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Nibs. She’s small, dark, low-calorie, and alllll chocolate. First, let me introduce you to cocoa nibs. If you’re not familiar, a nib is the kernel of unprocessed cacao bean, after the husk has been removed. In a way it’s like a chocolate nut – sorta.

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I don’t like gummies. I don’t even remember why, it’s been so long since I tasted any. So why did I buy these? Because I can’t resist anything animal-shaped. And I couldn’t resist the peculiar appeal of an animal-shaped candy with a gut full of liquid.

To be honest, I didn’t really expect these to be good to eat. I expected that I would order an Avenging Narwhal Playset from Archie McPhee and then instead of having the narwhal spear the little plastic penguin through the belly, I’d use these. And they’d OOZE GUTS. And I’d take pictures. What could be better?

But I never got to do that, for a surprising reason: They all got eaten!

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I did something recently that I swore I’d never do: I moved to a place with no Trader Joe’s. To the TJ uninitiated, this may seem like no big deal. But for those of you who have enjoyed TJ’s amazing food, drink, and CANDY (at even more amazing low prices), you understand my loss and dismay. So please join me in bidding a fond farewell to three of my all time favorite TJ candies.

Image by Anthemic Tangle
Milk Chocolate Clouds: Behold the chocolate, caramel, pecan glory that is the Trader Joe’s Milk Chocolate Cloud. Honestly, these are better than any other turtles I’ve ever had. The caramel is buttery and chewy, but doesn’t stick to your teeth. You can fully taste the sweet pecans and somehow they still retain some of their crunch. And, to top it all off: the milk chocolate is sooooo good. Unlike some milk chocolate, it’s not too sweet and is plenty chocolaty. And they don’t skimp on anything: each cloud is jam-packed with chocolate, caramel, nutty gooey goodness. Ah bliss!

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