Yesterday I heard words I’ve never heard another human being speak. Ever. Not even Andrew Zimmern. “Mmmm, these maggots are delicious!” Maybe Zimmern has said this, but I’ve never made it more than five minutes into his show before changing channels. I’m more of an Anthony Bourdain guy. But I digress.

From the wacky folks at Archie McPhee I got a package containing Commie Mints, Green Buddha Mints, and Gummy Maggots. Of all the hundreds of items they sell, these are probably among the least interesting, i.e., safest.

The tins each contained roughly 100 chalky white mints the size of baby aspirins. Both the Commies and Buddhas had identical ingredients and were so mild that eating less than six at a time elicited very little minty flavor. I’ll keep the tins and maybe fill ‘em with Altoids or Fisherman’s Friend mints.

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Mints have never been at the forefront of my candy addiction. I don’t know if my view is unusual, but I’ve always considered the tiny sugar-tablets more a quick breath-freshener than something tasty and crave-worthy. A flavorful hit in the absence of chocolate or gummies, but not really satisfying in the same way, y’know?

Well, if Archie McPhee has anything to do with it, the conversion of the lowly from afterthought to main event is in short order. From grog to garlic, no flavor is off-limits from the Seattle-based novelty maker. I recently received three tins of mints to review: Cupcake, Mochaccino, and Absinthe. As I’d expect from the company, packaging was kitschy and adorable. But would their taste transcend everyday minty doldrums?

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In my recent review of Nama Kokuto Ame black sugar candies, I said that the best part of traveling to a new place was getting to try new candy. Well, it turns out that the best part of having friends and family travel to new places is also… getting to try new candy! So when my sister jaunted off to Italy for three months, I fully expected her to deliver on some very sweet souvenirs. Sure enough, upon her return, my sister presented me with a gorgeous tin of Pastiglie Leone mixed lozenges. (I love you, Angela!)

Pastiglie Leone’s website proclaims the company as “Since 1857 the king of sweetness.” This highly-regarded Italian confectioner produces a large selection of tempting-looking treats, from gummies to chocolates. However, Pastiglie Leone is best known for its tiny lozenges, or pastilles – tiny, crunchy candies that come in a dazzling array of fruit and “healthful” herbal flavors including mandarin, rhubarb, vanilla, myrrh mint and citron sage. The lozenges are also known for their beautiful tins and boxes, which can be viewed on the website.

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Do you have a Vampire problem? Well, Buffy has been off the air for a few years now, so your next best bet is to pick up some of Archie McPhee’s Vampire Repelling Garlic Mints, a tin of magically disgusting pellets designed to keep Count Dracula and his crew from vanting to suck your blood, bleh!

I’m not going to lie – I was terrified to try the Vampire mints. The garlic smell is ridiculously strong – you can smell it even before you take the plastic shrink wrap off of the very cool-looking metal case that the mints come in. Once the plastic wrap is off – the smell becomes even stronger – not only will it keep a vampire away, but most likely it will keep everyone in your office, your significant other, and the majority of the people in your neighborhood away as well.

The taste is very hard to describe – it’s not quite garlic, and it’s not quite mint. It is, however, quite gross. It’s almost like eating one of those scratch and sniff stickers from the 80′s, or mixing a Pizza Goldfish cracker with a Tic-Tac. Truly revolting.

The concept and the packaging, however, are awesome – the tin has a great design and the mints would make a great gift for Vampire lovers, Vampire-fearers, and anyone who likes a nice, disgusting pizza Goldfish/Tic-Tac combo.

• Garlic Mints at Archie McPhee
• More Archie McPhee products at Candy Addict

We reviewed the first six flavors from Oral Fixation late last year and found them to be quite tasty. Now, Oral Fixation has come out with four new flavors: Antioximints (green tea mints), Mimosa Mint (orange mint cocktails), Fabulous Fruit (fruity tropical mints), and Jasmints (herbal jasmine mints).

Oral Fixation was kind enough to send us review samples and let me say once again that the tins these mints come in are probably the nicest mint tins I have seen. The artwork on each is beautiful and unique, and they are just so classy looking. Also, each has a specially printed wax paper insert for each flavor. The mints also say FIX on one side and have a unique imprint on the other (for example, the Green Tea mints are stamped with the Japanese character meaning “tea).

Yes, the packaging looks good, but can these new flavors live up to the standards set by the previous flavors? Let’s see…..

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