Bertie Bott and Beanboozled have nothing on these beans.

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There are several ways people approach eating candy. One of the main two is nostalgia for a specific candy and the other is the adventure some candies offer; some people just like enjoying their tried-and-true treat from their childhood and others love to try the newest and craziest candy for the experience. As a true Candy Addict, I fall into both categories. That’s why I was especially excited to find a small box of lollipops from Lollyphile waiting for me on my porch when I arrived home from work a few days ago.

Why all the excitement about a bunch of lollipops, you ask? Well, these aren’t just any lollipops. These come in flavors you won’t find anywhere else: Absinthe and Maple-Bacon. By now you’ve either started to drool on your keyboard (hey, happens to me all the time) or you’ve scrunched up your nose in skeptical repulsion. When I first saw the two flavors, I did both.

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Eating is a very complicated pastime when you think about it. Depending on the situation it can be a very social thing: you could easily be sharing a dinner with friends, out for an afternoon coffee break with co-workers or hosting a potluck party with family. While it’s easy to make daily meals more social, I find that when we treat ourselves with chocolate or candy, it usually tends to be a very solitary activity. There’s lots of reasons for this; maybe your friends or special someone don’t love chocolate like you do, perhaps you don’t want anyone to see you secretly indulge your sweet tooth, or hey, maybe you’re like me and don’t want anyone to notice so you’d have to share. Regardless of the reason, candy consumption can be pretty lonely, and usually in a good way. This is why, when Jelly Belly released its new box of BeanBoozled jelly beans, I was excited to give them a try.

How does eating these BeanBoozled beans relate to social activity you ask? Well, when you look at it, BeanBoozled is more of a game than anything else really, because in essence it’s an edible version of Russian Roulette. Picture this: in the box there are 10 different colored beans with 20 different flavors. The flavor can be a tasty one like buttered popcorn, plum, juicy pear or cafe latte. On the other hand, the flavor could be not so enticing: vomit, skunk spray, pencil shavings or baby wipes (just to name a few). See where this is heading?

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Yesterday, Victoria reviewed Fear Factor Gross-Out Gummi Pizza and today I’m reviewing the Pig-Out Platter. Oddly enough, we both independently chose to buy and review Fear Factor candy this week. What are the chances?

I found the Gross-Out Gummy Pig-Out Platter on the close-out rack at my local candy shop. It was normally $2.99 but I got it for 75% off. If it weren’t on clearance, I wouldn’t have bought something that was described as having a “Super Surprise Bacon and other Amazing Flavors.” This squishy gummi “treat” was a true FEAR FACTOR experience.

I opened the bright yellow and black packaging and popped out the plastic-sealed, dinner-platter-shaped gummy. It actually smelled like ham or gross, sugary bacon. Not like a nice maple bacon scent, but like real ham with a sickening sweet twist. It looked like a plate holding a big pig head, and six or so other indefinable brown and pink blobs. If I had to guess what these other things are, I will just say “innards” so as not to fully gross you out.

I took a large bite (it was too big to stuff the whole thing in my mouth and get it over with). It had the texture of the marshmallow gummy treats but then an awful smoked bacon flavor sprang into my mouth. My stomach flipped and I gagged a little while I tried to quickly swallow. My first thought was that I can see why Fear Factor brand candies belong in the Top 10 Grossest Candies. The second bite was worse because I knew that it would taste the same. I finished as fast as my stomach and gag reflex would let me. I beat the challenge.

I have no idea what the other “amazing” flavors were, but what did amaze me is that this candy is still on the market (though it was in the clearance rack). Nasty, nasty, nasty. It’s a perfect gift for your younger cousins, nieces, and nephews so they can dare each other to eat it. It’s not for squeamish adults (unless they have a good sense of humor and a competitive nature). I still can’t get that awful flavor out of my mouth.

• Fear Factor Candies homepage

Buy Fear factor Candy online:

• at Candy Direct
• at Candy Crate
• at Amazon

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Even when I taste gross candy, sometimes I feel lucky. In the case of Fear Factor Gross-Out Gummy Pizza, I thought I’d be thankful to have tried the gummy pizza instead of the real thing. Fish eyes, worms, stinky cheese … that’s one nasty pie.

The 1.6oz gummy version is missing the cow’s blood sauce and bile-based crust, or at least those flavors aren’t listed. The Gross-Out Pizza is beyond foul. The crust is sort of spongy-gummy, and the toppings are crunchy. When I opened the box, the pizza was protected by a plastic-wrapped tray. When I took the tray out of the over wrap, the smell of rotten cheese immediately polluted the kitchen. My fingers got a greasy film on them just from touching the tray, and I later had to scrub with a special lemon kitchen soap to cut the putrid stench. A housemate squealed when I waved the odor her direction.

I knew I was in for it with the taste test. I could barely bite off a tiny piece without gagging, and chewing was awful. Swallowing was impossible. After just a small chunk, I felt like a film coated my teeth, gums and lips all night.

Assorted Fear Factor candies were number six on our grossest candy list, but without the writing on the package, I would have never looked at the pizza as gross, unlike the chicken’s foot lollipop and other snacks. One taste though, and I wish I’d left the pizza in the store.

Buy Fear Factor Candy online:

• at Candy Direct
• at Candy Crate
• at Amazon

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