Courtesy of the All Candy Expo, I was able to try two of the Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars from Toxic Waste: the blue raspberry and the sour apple.

Blue Raspberry: I’m a Candy Addict who loves sour things and I’m telling you woohoo is this sour! The blue raspberry flavor started out really sour and just got more sour as I chewed. By the time I’d chewed enough to swallow, my eyes were watering. The flavor reminds me of a sour version of those blue Popsicles. Unfortunately, the first chew ended with a bit of a bitter taste and subsequent bites got progressively more bitter. I’d have liked it more if it just stuck with the sour. The texture was moderately chewy, taking a long time to chew any given bite.

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Though I feel my heart is already promised to The Atkinson Candy Company when it comes to Texan candy, I realize there are many other small manufacturers littered across the Lone Star State. Often, I see the products of these other companies near the checkout aisle of drug stores or on the countertops of gas stations. It’s hard for independent companies to afford shelf-stocking fees, so I assume this localized display is one of the few ways they can afford to compete with the big three.

On a trip to a Walgreens, I spotted this tiny, square praline piece of candy in a wicker basket. Truthfully, I had come to buy a bag of Twix, but this cellophane-wrapped candy seemed like the dog in the pound nobody adopts because it’s not a purebred. Well, there was no way I could let this mutt/piece of candy just sit there. It needed a good home/stomach.

The candy turned out to be called a Chewy Pecan Praline, which is manufactured by the Kay Klauber Candy Factory from Columbus Texas. I had a good feeling about this candy right away. I have always been charmed by candies whose names nonchalantly tell you exactly what you’re about to eat, instead of trying to trick you into purchasing them with some brand name that is never as tasty as the name implies.

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I have a crush. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ll be driving my car or typing away at work or sweating in the middle of a Pilates class when suddenly, wham! I’ll picture the object of my affection and my eyes will glaze over a bit. I smile just enough that one would assume I’m daydreaming about Clive Owen again. But sorry, Clive. You’ve got some competition and the name is Damla.

Damla, a Turkish import, is a taffy-like fruit flavored candy with a delicate gel center. Each piece comes individually wrapped and the flavors – apple, cherry, orange, peach and strawberry – are clearly labeled with darling little illustrations on their wrappers. The candy has a bit of a chew, but nothing that will destroy a filling. Actually, it takes on a lovely melty consistency after a bit of chomping.

And oh, the health benefits! The candy touts its fat-free status and at less than 20 calories per piece, I can easily justify eating five at a time for my daily empty calorie snack.

Is it worth it, you ask? Am I blinded by candy lust? Here’s the flavor breakdown:

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In my day, I was an avid trick-or-treater. Straight through high school, pillowcases served as bags; loot was measured in pounds; and Snickers, Milky Ways, and Starbursts were blissfully consumed for months. Until that inevitable dark day, that is, when I would go to my closet after school, reach deep into my dwindling stash, and come up with a handful of Tootsie Rolls, Dum-Dums, and that curse of a confection, the bane of my Halloween-loving existence, Bit-O-Honeys. Bit-O-Honeys were the one candy that I disliked so much I would not eat them even in these desperate times and they were utterly un-tradeable. Who, my young mind wondered, likes these things? And what on earth are they?

Well Jerry Seinfeld, it turns out, is a big fan. They’re his fave. And if that’s not reason for further investigation now that I’m older and wiser and further removed from the anger, then I certainly don’t know what is. And so, finally, I sought some answers.

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Given that they were “born” in 1962, Lemonheads have aged pretty well. However, the iconic candy from Ferrara Pan has had a bit of a make-over. Along with his friends Orangehead, Applehead, Grapehead and Cherryhead, they’ve all gone chewy! I had high hopes for this candy re-invention, as I’ve always loved Lemonheads and I figured this could only be an improvement. It brings me great joy to report that the chewy version is just as nice as the classic version.

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