I fondly recall candy cigarettes, both the gum and the chocolate versions, but I now wonder if it was some sort of ploy by the cigarette manufacturers to attract future users. Well, no matter! That was then, and this is now, and NOW there are wacky bubble gum cigarettes in interesting flavors from Archie McPhee.

I received four packs to review: Roller Derby (cherry-flavored bubble gum cigarettes), Captain Black’s Pirate (citrus-flavored bubble gum cigarettes), Hobo (campfire coffee bubble gum cigarettes), and El Diablo (cinnamon-flavored bubble gum cigarillos). Each box contains 12 pieces. The boxes, as you can see, sport appealing and quirky designs.

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Very few candies scare me just by hearing the name. I can think of a few though… vomit flavored jellybeans, garlic mints, Hotlix (candy with real bugs in it). I think these Chum Bucket Mints are some of the scariest though.

I’ve had the tin of them for a week or two now but keep finding other things to do rather than try them. But, the time has come and as I sit here writing this, I still have not tried them. The tin says “Chum Flavored Candy,” the ingredients include “artificial seafood flavor” and the smell is telling me to throw them away and don’t try them. “DON’T DO IT, BRIAN!” my brain yells at me. I don’t like most real seafood, so I can’t imagine I will like “artificial seafood flavor” in candy form.

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What is this review really about, anyway? Is it even worth writing? Is it even about anything at all? I don’t believe so. For the Nihilist in your life, Archie McPhee offers their flavorless Nihilist mints, 60 pieces of nothing guaranteed to taste like emptiness and the void in your soul.

The packaging is really sweet, it reminds me of a coffin… it’s a sleek little black case that slides out to reveal the pellets of nada within. Do they taste good? Of course not. Do they taste bad? Of course not. They’re flavorless. You didn’t expect Nihilist mints to taste like sunshine and lollipops, did you? They taste like nothing with a side of sugar. Or like the lack of an answer to the question “Why?”, depending on your world view. As Archie McPhee claims: “Nihilists don’t believe in flavor!”

If none of this makes sense to you, here is the definition of Nihilist.

Buy Nihilist Mints online:

• at Stupid.com
• at Archie McPhee

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Right now you’re probably wondering why Candy Addict would be reviewing something called Hobo Beans in the first place. Well, if you’ve been reading us for any amount of time you’ll recognize the name Archie McPhee and a light bulb will go off above your head (not literally, but you get the idea). From bacon mints to gummi haggis, they bring the “weird” to “weird candy.”

Hobo Beans are actually nothing more or less than maple flavored jelly beans. Now, I love jelly beans. I also love maple candy. A combination of the two would have to be delightful, right?

Well, not quite. Mind you, I’m not saying these are horrible, they just aren’t… you know… good. Oh, sure, they smell like maple when you first rip off the plastic wrap, but when it comes to taste they fall far short. The closest they come to maple flavor is a vague sense of almost maple-ness - which isn’t surprising considering the source of the flavor, according to the ingredient list: “artificial maple flavor.” Yeah, no kidding! Instead of sporting any one specific flavor, these have more of a general sweetness followed by a strange tartness that comes through after chewing and right before swallowing.

I can’t say I’ll be rushing out to buy these any time soon, but I do have to admit that the mini can they come in is pretty cute. If you’re a tin/can fan, then by all means grab one for your collection… but forgo the beans themselves. Of course, I’m sure your friendly neighborhood Hobo would probably appreciate them greatly!

• Hobo Beans at Archie McPhee

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Do you have a Vampire problem? Well, Buffy has been off the air for a few years now, so your next best bet is to pick up some of Archie McPhee’s Vampire Repelling Garlic Mints, a tin of magically disgusting pellets designed to keep Count Dracula and his crew from vanting to suck your blood, bleh!

I’m not going to lie - I was terrified to try the Vampire mints. The garlic smell is ridiculously strong - you can smell it even before you take the plastic shrink wrap off of the very cool-looking metal case that the mints come in. Once the plastic wrap is off - the smell becomes even stronger - not only will it keep a vampire away, but most likely it will keep everyone in your office, your significant other, and the majority of the people in your neighborhood away as well.

The taste is very hard to describe - it’s not quite garlic, and it’s not quite mint. It is, however, quite gross. It’s almost like eating one of those scratch and sniff stickers from the 80’s, or mixing a Pizza Goldfish cracker with a Tic-Tac. Truly revolting.

The concept and the packaging, however, are awesome - the tin has a great design and the mints would make a great gift for Vampire lovers, Vampire-fearers, and anyone who likes a nice, disgusting pizza Goldfish/Tic-Tac combo.

• Garlic Mints at Archie McPhee
• More Archie McPhee products at Candy Addict

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What you see here is an experiment. I have been toying with the idea of doing some video for the site and I finally did it. I present to you our first ever Candy Addict Video Review. In it I review Gummy Haggis and Gummy Tapeworm from Archie McPhee and Fear Factor Grimy Grubs from Brand New Products, LLC.

Please leave a comment below and give me some feedback on the video. I know it’s not perfect, but it was my first attempt and I think I could get better with practice. Let me know what you think and tell me if it’s a waste of time or if you’d like to see more of these candy videos.

• Archie McPhee
• Fear Factor Grimy Grubs webpage

Buy these candies online:

• Gummy Haggis at Archie McPhee
• Gummy Tapeworm at Archie McPhee
• Fear Factor Candy at Amazon.com
• Fear Factor Candy at CandyDirect

More candy articles about: gummi, gummy, archie mcphee, fear factor, gross

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UPDATE: We did a video review of these products. Watch it here.

Have you ever wanted to try haggis, but you just can’t seem to make it to Scotland for some of that entrails-y goodness? Or, have you ever wanted to experience tapeworm, but you just can’t find the time to hunt down that parasite? If this sounds like you, Archie McPhee has the answer! For a scant $4.95 a piece, you can treat yourself to one of these gastronomical delights.

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Yum, history is tasty! Candy Addicts know what I mean because of the historical lollipops that I’ve previously mentioned. The kind folks over at McPhee decided that I needed to taste these historical legends for myself! Sweet!

These aren’t your typical lollipops. Not only are they made of up a base of boiled hard sugar like Ring Pops and Dum-Dums, they also have a hard, foamy, piped-on sugar for the details of the facial features (think eyebrows and jewelry) that reminds me of decorations on holiday candy. This blending of textures is a real strength, since it provides a welcome contrast for the mouth to experience. So here’s how they taste…

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Now not only can you learn history, but taste it too! McPhee has released some truly bizarre lollipops in the shapes of Abe Lincoln, Sigmund Freud, and Marie Antoinette. We’ve previously covered some of McPhee’s other strange candies here at Candy Addict, but I think these lollipops take things to a whole new level.

All of them look quite tasty with Lincoln being orange-flavored, Marie with Cherry, and Freud with Watermelon. How are we supposed to choose? Historical preference? I also couldn’t help but laugh at the funny altered quotes on the display boxes where Marie’s exclaiming: “Let them eat….CANDY!”

I’m sure many of you would want to try these (I do!) and I can’t help but wonder what Freud would have to say about eating a likeness of his head.

• Abe Lincoln Head Lollipops
• Sigmund Freud Head Lollipops
• Marie Antoinette Head Lollipops

More candy articles about: lollipops

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(banana-flavored Monkey Mints)

Along with the Bacon Mints I reviewed earlier this week, I also received two tins of banana-flavored Monkey Mints and two tins of grog-flavored Pirate Mints. Thankfully, the horrid smell of the Bacon Mints didn’t permeate the sealed Monkey Mints and Pirate Mints tins.

Monkey Mints: The first thing that you notice about Monkey Mints is the cool monkey-face-shaped tin. It’s almost worth the cost of the mints just for the cool green tin. Once you actually open the tin, you’ll see 100 round yellow mints. When I first popped one in my mouth, I immediately thought of a banana Runt. After a second, the mint taste came through. Banana and mint isn’t a flavor combination I had ever considered before, but it’s not bad. Neither flavor is overwhelming and they mix rather nicely actually. And seriously - who doesn’t like monkeys?

(grog-flavored Pirate Mints)

Pirate Mints: The Pirate Mints say they are “Grog Flavored”. I had heard the word “grog” bandied about in pirate movies and always thought it meant beer. After looking at the ingredients list and Googling the word “grog”, I found out that grog is watered-down rum (the ingredients list says they contain “rum flavor”). The “mints” taste like a tropical (rum) drink and don’t have any actual mint taste to them all. I suppose they are called “mints” because they look like mints, have the texture of mints, and come in a mint tin. They taste pretty good - like a rum-flavored candy. It’s not a taste I can see myself ever craving after this tin is finished though.

So, both the Monkey Mints and the Pirate Mints are good, but nothing special. They’re really better as a novelty candy/tin than they are great-tasting. At least they don’t taste like bacon.

• Monkey Mints at mcphee.com
• Pirate Mints at mcphee.com
• Bacon Mints Reviewed

More candy articles about: candy, sweets, mint, mints, banana, bananas, rum, grog, pirate, pirates, monkey, monkeys, mcphee

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