It’s been many years since I last tried sugar-free chocolate, for good reason… it was disgusting. I would rather have had no chocolate than gross chocolate. I guess one of the many things that have improved with time and technology is sugar-free chocolate. Simply Lite’s Milk and Dark Chocolate bars are all the evidence I need to know science is awesome.

Now, sugar-free does conjure up some negative feelings to some folks, myself included. I’m not going to get into a philosophical debate about sugar vs. sugar-free, but I have been privy to concerns being raised about sugar substitutes. So many concerns that my little mind – tuned in by all the marketers trying to sell us the next best thing – was a little curious about the ingredients. I read the nutritional packing with some scrutiny and red lights started a-flashin’ when I read the warning “excess consumption may cause a laxative effect”. But, like all things, excess can cause long-lasting effects, no? Moderation, they say wisely. So I threw a little caution – along with a wrapper or two – to the wind because I did, of course, need to eat some of three different bars to tell my little tale of Simply Lite chocolates.

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The good folks from Pure Dark recently gave me a sampling of their goodies to review here on Candy Addict. Sometimes, the candy is just so-so, but Pure Dark blows the rest out of the water. It’s intense and just what dark chocolate should be!

My favorite by far was the Bark Classic. The “bark” is made of pure dark chocolate topped with cherries, roasted almonds, and caramelized nibs. It has the slightest hint of salt that perfectly balances out the intensity of the nibs. Nibs are little pieces of cocoa beans that are roasted and caramelized- but all you really need to know is that they are delicious. Nibs in chocolate = good.They remind me of chocolate covered coffee beans which is a plus if, like me, you’re into good coffee. Nibs are like the root of chocolate.

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Whenever I want to eat eggs for breakfast, I usually have to leave the house to do so, as the smell of eggs cooking makes my poor fiance sick. However! My fiance’s aversion to eggs does not extend to chocolate eggs, thank goodness, which means our house becomes an egg-filled wonderland of chocolaty goodness each Easter season. For the egg-shaped candy is the staple of Easter sweets; bypassing even the chocolate bunny over the past few years as the go-to shape for deliciousness. The trick is separating the truly delicious chocolate eggs from the eggs that deserve to go down Willy Wonka’s Eggdicator shoot. Lucky for you, I’m here to help.

I have eaten nearly every type of chocolate in the universe, and I have to say, often the loveliest chocolates are the ones you can buy right in the drug store. It seems a bit wacky to say, but the higher-end chocolate eggs I’ve eaten usually come off as a bit waxy or bitter. Throughout the year, when I need a simple chocolate fix, I keep two staples in my dish: Hershey’s Bliss Milk Chocolate Meltaways, and Dove Dark Chocolate Promises. Both candies are delicious, readily available, and perfectly milky and sweet. So my hopes were high when I received a box of Dove Milk and Dark Chocolate Easter eggs.

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While on a mission at my local Ralph’s, ostensibly for drinks and cleaning supplies, I decided to make a detour into the candy aisle. I didn’t expect to buy anything, as I’m fond of spending as little as possible, and only tend to indulge in my sweeter passions when they come at a decidedly inexorbitant fee. As it turned out, deviance from my intended path proved unwise. The store was holding a major chocolate sale – and Hershey’s bars weren’t the only discounted items.

Indeed, sweets from all over the world were marked down! Hazelnut-studded Ritter squares from Germany touted their half-priced goodness alongside super-dark French varietals which, even after their markdown, sold for $4.50 apiece. While all of these were tempting, my eyes were drawn to the Cadbury selections. At 4/$3.00, the British candy maker’s offerings were competitively priced with the offerings from Hershey’s and Nestle. How could I resist? Four scrumptious-looking Cadbury bars were on display, and one of each found its way into my basket. Three extraneous dollars later, I was out the door with my British booty.

Arriving home, I arranged the bars before me on the kitchen table and took inventory. My collection, swathed in a wrap of regal purple, included Cadbury’s Dairy Milk, Royal Dark, Fruit & Nut, and Caramello bars. I eagerly opened my first 99-gram (3.5 oz.) bar and bit in.

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And then there was U-No. This is the fourth and final oddly-named retro bar in my mini-cycle of candy that spiraled out of a dream I thought I had about overhearing a woman speaking to her husband when in New York City. (The other three candies are Oh Henry! Look!, and the 5th Avenue bar.)

Unlike those other three bars, I had U-No as a kid. And I remember liking it. So today we’ll see if I’m transported back to those halcyon days of rare treats, or caught in a transporter with a fly, like Jeff Goldblum, with disastrous consequences. And really, I’m a little worried, because my childhood taste was far from infallible.

Two things I didn’t realize growing up: U-No’s have powdered buttermilk and crushed almonds in them. That might have freaked me out at 8, but it intrigues me now.

So, will I still like this unique candy in the lunar-module, super-shiny wrapper?

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