While detractors claim that a Ramen-heavy diet can pave the way to a future filled with doctor’s visits, it’s hard to deny the universal appeal of this Asian insta-meal when budgetary concerns and convenient preparation are at the top of your list. Plus, if you’re too lazy to boil water, you can even just eat them straight out of the package for a crunchy salty sensation that will put mere pretzels to shame… or so I’ve heard.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the masterminds behind Komforte Chockolates can relate to this somewhat embarrassing culinary confession all too well given the existence of their 2.5 ounce Savory Ramen chocolate bar. Whether crafted as a nod to the good old days of all nighters and keg parties or created expressly for the tres niche, left-of-center candy lovers market, their wackadoodle offering succeeded in getting my attention.

Upon peeling off the Seattle-based company’s glossy white and vivid pink outer wrapper, I found myself momentarily admiring the compact yet thick 53% dark chocolate bar within. Imprinted with an attractive rippled design, it was easy to see cream-toned flecks of ramen tid bits scattered throughout, especially on the underside.

With a quick flick of my wrist, I snapped a piece off of the bar and then placed it on my tongue so that it could melt slowly. Within two seconds, my taste buds squawked, “What the HELLLL?” but that initial shock quickly subsided when I reviewed the outer wrapper which was entirely forthcoming about its garlic, onion, and soy sauce notes.

When you know what you’re getting yourself into, this admittedly quirky bar is actually half way decent. The onion and garlic are both immediately quite detectable – certainly not the top flavorings you’d think of pairing with an after dinner treat – but still quite palatable in their rich chocolate base.

The longer you allow a piece of Savory Ramen chocolate to melt on your tongue, the more likely you’ll experience a secondary wave of salty soy, which oddly enough is also a-okay. Throw crunchy but easily chewable dehydrated noodles into the mix and the result is a freaky mouth party in which you’ll be continually amused by the fact that you kinda dig this “What-the-flippity-flip?!?!” confection – one that from a literal and sane perspective, anybody in their right mind would probably give the double thumbs down to.

If you choose to crunch your bar (rather than allow it to slowllllly dissolve), you’ll have a far more sedate Komforte Chockolates experience. The ramen flavoring blend won’t be nearly as detectable, and the noodle crunch will be a lot more pronounced, both of which can be a good thing if you’re a candy tasting chicken.

So, who is this bar well suited for? Adventurous foodies, those with a deep affection for the unusual, and anyone who just wants to have a bit of edible fun. The majority of the sugar hounds out there probably wouldn’t keep it in their pile of reliable mainstay confections, but it would be great to have on hand for future dinner parties as a super conversation starter or as a quirky addition to a gift bag.

Treading with caution throughout the journey of life, while soberingly sensible, can result in far too many regrets. Shake things up by trying Komforte Chockolates’ Savory Ramen bar at least once. Whether you love it, hate it, or are rendered entirely puzzled, at least you’ll have another unique experience under your belt and isn’t that what this wacky ride should really be about?

• Komforte Chockolates Website
• Buy Komforte Bars online

In the spirit of Easter, let’s talk more about Cadbury Creme Eggs.

Most people either love ‘em or hate ‘em. I happen to be a former hater turned lover. Whether or not you enjoy eating them, here are some fun facts for you:

• Over 300 million Cadbury Creme Eggs are made each year, with a third being exported.
• The eggs are for sale from January 1 through Easter Day each year…unless of course you count the smashed and white-speckled ones you may purchase off clearance racks every so often beyond hatching season.
• At some point during the 1980s, the eggs were sold year round, but sales proved this wasn’t eggxactly a great idea.
• At some other point through the years, eggs decreased in size. This became a big topic of discussion in 2007.
• Eggs are sold in the UK, USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.
• There’s a special Facebook page for the egg.
• Some folks actually use chocolate eggs in baking.
• Other folks make their own creme eggs!
• And there are also the folks who make deviled creme eggs…
• Scientists sometimes blow them up.
• They can be purchased individually or in different-sized boxes.

There’s something so nostalgic about Cadbury Creme Eggs. Because of their seasonal availability and affiliation with Easter, we all seem to have special memories.

As someone always turned off by real eggs, the idea of eating a chocolate one resembling a real one turned my stomach as a child. But my younger brother loved them. And I always remember how excited he would get to bite into his first one each Easter. One day, as a candy-loving adult (with a more mature, less-discriminatory, borderline-gluttonous palate), I gave the chocolate eggs a chance and enjoyed what I ended up indulging in. You love that story.

What’s your favorite memory with a Cadbury Creme Egg?

• Cadbury Creme Egg Home Page

Steve Casselman began brewing beer at home back in 1985. This past October, he started the Beercandy website in order to bring his beer candy to life. Steve uses 4 kinds of beer to make his candy: IPA, Stout, Lager and Lambic.

My husband is a huge beer fan and I’m actually on the site right now, ordering some Beercandy for his Father’s Day gift. Review to come!

• Beercandy Website

I grew up in a family where farts always came out on top in the laughter department. My brother was the King of it in our house. Very soon, I can buy him his own bag of edible Farts™. That’s right, Leaf Brands (the candy company that brought us Astro Pops®, Jolly Ranchers ®, Whoppers ®and Milk Duds®) are coming out with a new chewy fruity candy that they have named Farts™.

Have no fear, for they shall not be like normal farts! These new candy Farts™ will be fruity, chewy, colorful and will have a bumpy candy coating. Farts™ will come in over 126 flavors that according to Leaf Brand, LLC, they will “pick the flavors based on customers’ votes on Facebook and other social media platforms.”

It’s a great name, I mean who doesn’t laugh or at least crack a smile at a Fart™? I know I’ll be buying some and of course, sending a few bags to my brother.

• Leaf Brands Website

Next month, Jelly Belly will be launching a new Peas and Carrot mix designed to look like the ever (NOT) popular vegetable side dish. The candy peas and carrots will not be jellybeans but will be mellocremes in apple and orange sherbet flavors (which is MUCH better than candy that actually tastes like peas or carrots – blech!). Look for these on store shelves in February of 2011.

• more info at DrugStoreNews
• more Jelly Belly candy at Candy Addict
• JellyBelly.com

I’m a sucker for traditional Japanese food and art. But when it comes to traditional Japanese entertainments, my reaction is often “I guess this is what happens when people don’t have TV.”

Neri-Ame is clearly a combination of food and amusement. And who doesn’t like to play with their food? So despite my skepticism about what the traditional Japanese apparently found entertaining (Kabuki theater, I am looking at you) I had to know what this was about.

Neri-Ame is a little vial of colored stuff packed with a small pair of wooden chopsticks, and according to our friends at J-list, the deal is that you pour the syrup on the chopsticks and “knead in order to create a fluffy-like texture before you consume.” Your first question is no doubt, how do you get a syrup to stay on a chopstick? This turns out to be not too hard, as this stuff is about as thick as it can get and still be sort of a liquid.

Then there’s the kneading part. I’ve never kneaded anything on the end of a pair of chopsticks. There are picture instructions on the back of the package which are not too helpful, and I can’t read enough of the Japanese, but how much can there be to it? It would obviously defeat the whole purpose of the thing to take out my big electronic dough-mixing appliance. So, no biggie. I smushed and stretched the stuff around for a while.

Eventually, it starts to change color, becoming opaque and a bit thicker and stretchier. I don’t know about fluffy. If you have ever watched taffy being made at the beach I think it’s a bit like that. You can see the contrast in the photo between the thick, opaque lump at the end of the chopsticks and the clear syrup in the vial (and leaking out onto the table, which, by the way, you should try to avoid).

Then there is the part where you get tired of kneading and taste the stuff. Oof. It turns out that the yellow version is banana flavor, and there are few things in the world of candy that I like less than artificial banana flavor. I will say in its favor, though, that despite what you’d probably expect, it’s not overly sweet. This is one of the nice things about Japanese candy – even stuff that looks like a lump of pure sugar is usually way less sweet than is typical of American products.

The pink color was much better. I’m not positive what flavor it was supposed to be, something bubblegummy or fake-strawberry that was perfectly fine and again, not too sweet. It’s such a pleasure to eat something like this that’s just sweet instead of being painfully, overwhelmingly, teeth-achingly sweet.

This was kind of fun, in a simple-minded way. And definitely not as boring as Kabuki theater or those awful songs that geisha sing. Will it tempt your kids away from their electronic devices? Hey, for a few minutes, at a party – or in a power failure – it’s worth a try. And if you decide you’re crazy about the taste the secret is, as far as I can tell, kneading doesn’t change the flavor at all. Just clip the bottle open and pour it in your mouth – and go watch TV.

Buy Neri Ame Online:

• at J-list

Yesterday I heard words I’ve never heard another human being speak. Ever. Not even Andrew Zimmern. “Mmmm, these maggots are delicious!” Maybe Zimmern has said this, but I’ve never made it more than five minutes into his show before changing channels. I’m more of an Anthony Bourdain guy. But I digress.

From the wacky folks at Archie McPhee I got a package containing Commie Mints, Green Buddha Mints, and Gummy Maggots. Of all the hundreds of items they sell, these are probably among the least interesting, i.e., safest.

The tins each contained roughly 100 chalky white mints the size of baby aspirins. Both the Commies and Buddhas had identical ingredients and were so mild that eating less than six at a time elicited very little minty flavor. I’ll keep the tins and maybe fill ‘em with Altoids or Fisherman’s Friend mints.

The Gummy Maggots looked very lifelike (larvaelike?), but had a distinct rubbery taste over the green apple flavor. (Better than natural maggot flavor, I guess.) Also, the package depicts a smiling cartoon worm exiting an apple – I’m sure a true depiction of maggots squirming around in rotting garbage or a days-old summertime animal carcass would be too off-putting. These seem to be geared toward goofy kids anyway, along with a few people in my office – they’ll eat anything that sounds gross, and usually enjoy it.

Celebrating their silver anniversary in business, Archie McPhee is the retail segment of wholesalers Accoutrements, known more for their kooky and kitschy toys than candy, although we’ve reviewed plenty of their offbeat candy here before. Still, I wish I’d gotten something more fun than mints and maggots. Perhaps a Cherry Flavored Marie Antoinette Head Lollipop, Gummy Human Heart, Black Lung Lemon Flavored Bubblegum Cigarettes, or Shakesperean Insult Gum would’ve been a bit more “krazy.” And they seem to be obsessed with bacon-flavored candy. Why’d I get no bacon?

Despite the subpar candy – the emphasis here is on novelty, not candy – I can’t help lingering over their “Stupid Products” section: Man, I need some Inflatable Toast!

• Archie McPhee Candy
• More Archie McPhee Products at Candy Addict

I am a huge fan of Archie McPhee. My bathroom is decorated with their matching sushi-themed shower curtain, rug, and trash can; I have their band-aids that look like Crime Scene tape, their toy gun that catapults pigs, their little squeaky monk who’s talking on the phone and drinking coffee…. But you’ll notice something all those items have in common: none of them are supposed to be eaten, or even, like this gum, just chewed.

So here’s the thing: I love the concepts of all of these gums just like I love the concepts of their other products. Gumballs that look like meatballs, wasabi gum – this stuff tickles me to death. But, here at Candy Addict, we are about actually eating things. So: are these just joke gifts, or would a person really want to eat them?

The most promising idea of the three seemed to me to be wasabi. Now, some of you laughed at me for being afraid of Pop Rocks in my Chuao Dark Chocolate Assortment article. But I am not afraid of wasabi. I love the stuff. And despite the unconventionality of this idea, I thought it might be good flavor for a gum. Like, candy can be hot-cinnamon flavored, so why not wasabi?

Well, I’m afraid that we still don’t know the answer to the question of whether that’s a good idea, because unfortunately, this gum didn’t taste much like wasabi. It’s a nice appropriate bright green color, and the first couple of chews have a kind of vague, aromatic hint of something vaguely reminiscent of wasabi. But the flavor pretty much disappears very quickly, and it’s never the least bit hot or spicy.

This was very disappointing, but on the bright side, it made the idea of trying the meatball gum less scary, since one really had to hope that it would taste no more like meatball than the wasabi tasted like wasabi. I mean, yeah, the fine print on the box does say ‘bubble gum flavored’ but, those Archie McPhee guys, they’re a bunch of jokers, you know?

But fortunately, indeed these did not taste like meatballs. It was the appearance that was a little disappointing – they’re not as bumpy as the picture on the website looks. But they are still a pretty good gag gift and, unlike the wasabi, one that you’d actually want to consume. They’re not bubble gum flavored in the way I would expect – not like that pink Bazooka flavor – but they’re sweet and vaguely artificial fruity in a perfectly pleasant way.

Now, after my experience with Bacon Salt over at Snackerrfic, I was not looking forward to the ‘artificial bacon flavor’ in the ingredients of the bacon gumballs. But I clicked around the Archie McPhee website and convinced myself that I should just be thankful I wasn’t trying the Bacon Jelly Beans, since I hate jelly beans. I hate gummies too, but the Gummy Bacon is strawberry flavored… OK, OK. I am just procrastinating. Here goes.

Ooooh no. When you unwrap the plastic you can already smell it. Do you think I could just spill it all on the floor and say I couldn’t review it? No, no, then the dogs would get it. OK….

Oh, this is even weird to look at. It’s a sickly dark pink color. It’s not perfectly round.

Also, it’s in kind of tough shape – the candy coating has come off big spots on a bunch of the pieces and there’s crumbs of it all over the bottom of the tin.

OK. I guess I really have to try it now.

Aw. Oh God. This is horrible. Bacon salt is a work of culinary genius, how did I not realize? It is so much better than this. Ugh. It’s not just artificial bacon, it’s also sweet, and sort of chemically. Aaargh.

I had to spit it out before all the flavor was gone. I even brushed my teeth but I couldn’t get rid of the aftertaste. I don’t have any mints in the house, so now I’m trying a Tums, and the combination of mint with fake chemical bacon is not really an improvement. Oh God. This is truly, truly vile. This is beyond the call of duty.

I had to get a second and third opinion, and people, it really is as bad as I say: Even the pugs didn’t want to eat this. They sniffed like crazy and tried little licks, but didn’t try to take it. Please note: There is nothing these dogs won’t eat, including stuff that’s, like, already been eaten and fully processed, if you get my drift? But they did not want to eat these.

In short: Meatball gumballs: edible. Wasabi gumballs: joke gift. Bacon gumballs: send them to your enemies in a package with no return address.

• Archie McPhee Candy
• More Archie McPhee Products at Candy Addict

The holidays are made for candy indulgence – but does indulgence have to break the bank? We’ve attempted to discover just that in the first two parts of It Came from the Dollar Store: The Cheapo Holiday Candy Special. In Parts 1 and 2, we reviewed the tasty Whipped Creme Santa and the not-so-tasty Marshmallow Treats Santa. Now, I bring you the third and final Christmas candy from the fine folks at Dollarama: the Sugar House.

The concept behind the Sugar House is a simple one. It’s a house… made out of sugar. Lots and lots of sugar. It’s then given a gummy “occupant” – in this case, a strange little orange gumdrop man with a Santa hat and Popeye arms who seems to be radiating red icing “heat waves” – perhaps he’s an anthropomorphic flame? Is the Sucrose Shack meant to appear as if it’s in imminent danger of melting into a Caramel House? (In the company’s defense, they also do versions with a pretty decent-looking Santa and snowman.)

As if that weren’t already enough pure sugar to send anyone into diabetic shock, the house and occupant are then liberally decorated with icing. The icing detailing is actually surprisingly nice, with rainbow-colored Christmas lights and a brown chimney on the roof, blue icing “windows” on the sides, and even blue snowflakes (two shades of blue!) and white squiggles on the back of the house where they could easily have gotten away with skimping.

The house is housed (hah!) in a clear plastic cube, but it’s also shrink-wrapped, with a piece of gold string on the top so you can hang it on your Christmas tree. That was my first clue that the Diabetes Domicile is probably meant to be a decorative item first and a candy second. Like the Marshmallow Santa I reviewed in Part 2, it has no name brand, just “Imported by Dollarama.”

When I remove the Chateau d’ Cavities from its protective plastic, I’m surprised to find that it has a citrusy scent – I’d assumed that it was made from pure, unadulterated sugar. It’s a stale scent though, like old icing – it kind of smells like you’d expect those Styrofoam sample wedding cakes in bakery windows to smell. I begin by divesting the Sweet-za Hut of its gummy occupant. Not as easy a task as you’d expect given the copious amounts of icing cementing him to his sugary residence – I wind up having to tear the little guy in half in order to get him out. The gumdrop tastes like, well, an orange gumdrop, not as stale as I feared, with an interesting crunch from the icing. Removing the gummy also reveals a strange icing detail that had been hidden:

Yeah, I’m as confused as you.

Now for the moment of truth. I lift the Confectionery Condo to my mouth and attempt to gnaw off enough to sample. The crunchy royal icing tastes like you’d expect, but the sugar part of the house is surprisingly tooth-friendly. Rather than being grainy like a sugar cube, as I’d originally thought, it’s actually more like a very firm orange-flavored fondant. The thin bottom is hard, but the thicker sides are actually surprisingly soft, almost crumbly. Even the first nibble is enough to set my throat burning from sweetness.

In all, it’s not as bad as I’d feared, but I just can’t eat 100 g (480 calories’ worth) of pure orange-flavored sugar – and you and your loved ones probably shouldn’t either.

So what has our exploration of dollar-store holiday candy taught us? While there is decent candy at the dollar store, particularly if you’re lucky enough to find name-brand items, it’s wise to be picky when it comes to no-name candy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to wash the taste of all this budget candy out of my mouth with some nice, expensive, good-quality dark chocolate.

The following ingredients will be tested in today’s experiment:

Sweet potato: The Great Chocolate Experiment researchers have been put off of eating their greens by The Great Chocolate Experiment Part 1’s chocolate-covered broccoli experiment. Will nutritious and delicious sweet potatoes, often served with brown sugar and marshmallows, restore our faith in a veggie-chocolate pairing?

Dried mango: These sugared strips of dried mango are so sweet and delicious that they may as well be candy. And as everyone knows, many candies benefit greatly from a good coating of chocolate.

Cheddar cheese: Cheddar is definitely not this researcher’s favorite cheese. But because you asked for it, we will be dunking chunks of Hickory Farms into chocolate and tasting them. Will we live to tell the tale?

Gummy cola bottles: A while ago, I reviewed Nativa Organic Gummy Soda Bottles. And they were pretty good. But one burning question remained in this researcher’s mind: How would gummy cola bottles taste dipped in chocolate?

Procedure:

Step 1: Peel a chunk of sweet potato (the orange kind, not the yellow) and cut into bite-sized pieces. Put the pieces into a microwave-safe bowl with a little water. Microwave on High for about two and a half minutes or until the sweet potato pieces are softened. Drain the water and dry the potato pieces gently with a paper towel.

Step 2: Cut a few pieces of dried mango and some Cheddar cheese into bite-sized pieces

Step 3: Melt some Callebaut dark chocolate in the microwave, following the directions in The Great Chocolate Experiment Part 1). (For easier dipping, use a narrow vessel like a mug.)

Step 4: Use chopsticks or a fork to coat the sweet potato, cheese, mango and a handful of gummy cola bottles in the chocolate. (The chocolate won’t stick to the cheese and wet sweet potato very well, so you may have to spoon some more on afterward.) Arrange on a plastic-wrap- or parchment-paper-lined baking sheet and freeze for one to two hours until chocolate is firm to the touch.

Step 5: Taste all items, preferably with the aid of a Research Assistant and/or Tasting Panel.

Observations:

Sweet potato: Despite receiving a thorough drying after the microwave steaming process, the potato pieces were rather wet – getting the chocolate to stick was a bit difficult, resulting in incomplete coverage of the potato pieces. When pulled out of the freezer, the pieces had a great deal of condensation, which you can see in the photo due to my unfortunate decision to use the camera’s flash to take the shot. (Sorry for the bad photos– I really need to invest in a more consistent light source than the sun.)

Overall, the taste of the pieces was mushy (if a little frozen) and bland. No sweet potato flavor was evident – it could almost have been a regular potato. However, sweet potatoes have been proven to go with sweet things, so another experiment may be in order – perhaps by whipping the potatoes with brown sugar and cinnamon and making a truffle. Milk chocolate might also be a better match for the potato’s relatively mild flavor.

Experiment status: Retest Recommended

Dried mango: Perhaps because we used a fresh cup of chocolate for the mangoes, the chocolate layer turned out rather heavy. The chocolate flavor covered up the subtleties of the mango flavor and most of the sweetness as well. The distinctive piney notes of the mango were completely lost, leaving only a sort of generic, rather sour fruit flavor.

It actually made an interesting contrast to The Great Chocolate Experiment Part 2’s sun-dried tomatoes, which benefited from the more salty/savory aspects of the tomato flavor being masked by the chocolate, leaving something sweeter and fruitier. Here, though, it just turned delicious mangoes into generic blah. A thinner layer of chocolate would definitely be recommended for future tests.

Experiment status: Failure

Cheddar cheese: As you can probably tell from reading the Chocolate Experiments, I’m pretty fearless when it comes to odd food combinations. But I hesitated before biting into the chocolate-coated Cheddar chunk. Perhaps it was a premonition, or maybe just the sheer number of disgusting things I had to put into my mouth today (doing two installments’ worth of tastings in one shot was a bad idea), but I elected to take only a small bite rather than popping the whole thing in my mouth.

The cheese and chocolate almost immediately turned into a creamy, homogeneous mass in my mouth, coating every inch of the inside of my mouth in a thick, greasy layer. The flavor clung to the taste buds and refused to be gotten rid of. And that flavor was vile. Utterly, indescribably vile. There was, in fact, something almost Lovecraftian about the combination of cheese and chocolate sliding down one’s throat in a hideous mockery of fudge, like some kind of eldritch candy horror, utterly alien to and unknowable by human beings. This, my friends, is what candy tastes like in Hell.

Experiment status: Epic Failure

Gummy cola bottles: I thought that the tart flavor and firm texture of the gummy was a decent match for the dark bitterness and crisp texture of the dark chocolate shell. However, my Research Assistant disagreed, declaring the gummies “too sour” to go with the chocolate. “I’d rate them two out of five stars,” she said.

So is there a Choco-Cola in our future? If our mixed results were anything to go by, the answer is a definite “maybe.”

Experiment status: Moderate success

Conclusion:
Unfortunately, today’s experiment failed to produce any standout successes. Though only so-so, the best item we tasted was the gummy cola bottles, and the horrific Cheddar-chocolate combo was definitely the worst. But we were undaunted. Our quest to discover the perfect partner for chocolate will continue. In the interests of Science, we will continue to forge ahead into the unknown!

(You may have noticed that in the last few posts, I’ve been recommending certain items for retest. As to the implications of this… well, stay tuned. And, as always, your ingredient suggestions are greatly appreciated.)

Buy Callebaut Chocolate Online:

• at Amazon.com