Amid random carpet crumbs and tufts of dog fur, the next crucial step would then be to sort, categorize, and ultimately pawn off all candy rejects upon easily swayed siblings and casual acquaintances who failed to grasp the unspoken yet inarguable confection hierarchy that still exists to this very day.

In my post-Halloween candy sorting circle, anyone with a shred of sugar sense knew that scoring willing Good & Plenty adoptees was an exercise in sheer futility.

Flinging those much-reviled miniature boxes directly into the closest garbage can was the far more appropriate, time-saving action. Even when afflicted with absolute sugar desperation, you could attempt to vigorously chew the white and Pepto-Bismol tinted, candy coated, black licorice bits and still end up swallowing them partially whole thanks to their chronically stale state.

Someone out there must still have a soft spot for Good & Plenty based on the fact that – even in 2012 – the purportedly edible yet rock-hard classic is inexplicably still available at a wide range of mass merchandisers. For the rest of us, there is Panda’s Candy Coated Licorice, and oh, what a relief it is.

There are several ways in which the Finnish company’s latest greatest entry blows Good & Plenty straight out of the water, the most obvious one being that each individual candy-coated piece is easily twice the size of its pitiful forerunner. With a legitimately soft and chewy black licorice interior – flavored with genuine rooty goodness – there is far more toothsome, easily pliable, unrefined sugar to love.

As candy selections go, Panda’s Candy Coated Licorice is a bit healthier than typical marketplace offerings based on the fact that it is absent of high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors/flavors, or preservatives.

When seeking out authentic-tasting black licorice, molasses should be the main sweetening agent, as it is in this product. The thick brown highly concentrated syrup – which is a by-product of the sugar refining process – is conveniently rich in beneficial minerals such as manganese, iron, copper, magnesium, and potassium as well as calcium but it also happens to impart licorice with that unmistakable earthy flavor.

What else makes Panda’s sugar coated escape well worth hunting down at your favorite market? Well, if you walk the dietary straight and narrow by actively avoiding all animal-based protein sources, you’ll be happy to learn that their Candy Coated Licorice is 100% vegan-friendly. You won’t find a scrap of gelatin in it, nor eggs or milk for that matter.

Let’s put aside the “health” aspect of this treat and get down to the sugar nitty gritty. Each piece of Panda’s licorice is dunked in a crisp yet easily yielding sugar shell. Somewhat surprisingly, the light yellow coating is distinctively citrusy, with a sharp yet pleasing lemon edge that you’ll want to experience again and again.

On the opposite end of the tasting spectrum, the white shell surrounding Panda’s perfectly textured, molasses sweetened licorice is laden with anise and peppermint, both of which would complement a cup of tea quite nicely. Even on their own, Panda’s refreshing white candy coated licorice bits would make an excellent after dinner mint.

Each relatively petite 3.5 ounce bag, priced at under $2.00, makes absolute mincemeat of the candy-coated licorice competition. Instead of working overtime to pawn your Panda morsels off on the sugar-clueless, you’ll realize with the very first bite that these ebony gems are in a hoard-worthy class all of their own.

• Panda’s Candy-Coated Licorice

If given the choice between eight perfectly blissful, uninterrupted hours of sleep or a Happy Goat Caramel graze-for-all, I think it’s pretty obvious which option I’d choose. Sure, I’m a sucker for sweets in their various incarnations, but in light of the sheer volume of confections currently in the marketplace, a product truly has to have that certain je ne sais quoi for me to become a repeat consumer.

Happy Goat fits the bill, but not because I’m easily swayed by hipster-approved ingredients. As nice as certified organic, ethically-produced edibles are, the proof is in the actual pudding, which in this case I’d be more than happy to slather directly on my tongue in copious amounts.

Each individual, cellophane-wrapped, pliable to the touch piece possesses an amber radiance punctuated with flecks of Madagascar bourbon vanilla bean. Homemade in appearance, the small-batch caramel treasure, upon being unwrapped, tastes just as good as it looks thanks to a hormone and antibiotic-free goat milk caramel base bolstered with goat milk butter, corn syrup, and organic sugar. The gingerbread-like warmth of this particular variety is achieved through the addition of a harmonious marriage of cloves, Ceylon cinnamon, ginger and allspice.

It’s worth noting that goat’s milk is naturally lower in fat than cow’s milk, so adding it to a caramel recipe will automatically yield a final product that, while still delicious, will seem far less “buttery” than other artisan-style caramels. This doesn’t render it any less enjoyable than bovine versions, however. It’s simply just a different type of adult caramel – one that both intrepid foodies and lactose-intolerant individuals with an appreciation for sophisticated spice blends will happily embrace.

If you make a conscious effort to consume foods that are free of genetically modified ingredients and agricultural chemicals, then you’ll be encouraged to learn that Happy Goat earns a natural foodie stamp of approval for their commitment to grazing their goat herd on 100% vegetarian, totally unadulterated, ruminant-friendly munchies such as alfalfa, clover and hay. Lazing about the rolling hills and dales of the countryside, the San Francisco based confectioner’s bearded brood is free to roam where they like – and that general contentment translates into a fresh, light, and yes – truly tasty – goat milk-based product.

Easily chewable, a Happy Goat caramel will quickly dissolve in your teeth without posing a threat to dental work. If it didn’t clearly state on the package that goat’s milk was a main ingredient, you really wouldn’t be able to tell the difference – it just tastes creamy-good, and with just 3.5 grams of fat per three piece 95 calorie serving, you’ll feel pretty cheerful about eating it, too.

Boy, what a mouthful. Right out of the gate, a flood of divinely rich and surprisingly unsweetened dark chocolate will envelop your taste buds. The cacao works particularly well, offering a sobering balance to the innate sweetness of the corn syrup and organic sugar-enriched caramel base described above. As with its winter spice-laden compadre, this flavor variety rapidly dissolves into nothing more than a fond memory, with random salt and sugar crystals desperately clinging onto tooth enamel, ultimately in vain.

Hmmmm… sea salt is listed as the final of seven total ingredients and while it continues to be the hip and trendy thing for candy companies to include in their sweets, there’s only the slightest suggestion of its presence. Frankly, this caramel is pretty darn delicious as-is, and even if it contained a heavier dash of salt (or, conversely, nothing more than a single grain of it), I’d still be more than enthusiastic about revisiting my package several times throughout the day. Sea salt junkies may experience a wee bit of a letdown, but that will soon pass once they realize that they’ve finally stumbled upon a worthwhile caramel that offers all of the pleasure with none of the hypertension pain.

Whether you lean toward the spicy side of things or you like your sweets chocolatey delicious, the ten dollar investment for Happy Goat’s four ounce package of caramels is money well spent. I know – that probably sounds kind of insane (helloooo, we’re in a recession!) but goats with a pep in their step clearly crank out some seriously sultry caramely goodness.

• Happy Goat Website

Pepper and cinnamon infused beverages can occasionally deliver a spicy albeit fleeting distraction, as can certain trendy snack foods, but for a reliably complementary yin to one’s chile laden mealtime yang, look no further than certain salivation-triggering candies.

Ah yes, ever-enduring Hot Tamales certainly fit the bill. Though Americans may have a torrid, love-hate relationship with the chewy cinnamon candy, it has nonetheless continued dazzling daring palates for the better part of 62 years.

To this day, Just Born’s classic cinnamon triumph remains the top selling candy of its kind in the U.S., but the Lehigh Valley manufacturer is hardly resting on its laurels. From limited edition cinnamon jelly beans and Easter-themed spice versions to gum and the latest entry in their tongue-tingling empire, Hot Tamales 3 Alarm, your taste buds are going to kick into salivary overdrive.

Each package contains a hearty assortment of oblong jelly bean like candies in three different flavors – the orange is “hot”, while the remaining two red pigmented varieties are “hotter” and “hottest”.

My tasting panel and I unanimously agreed that Just Born zoned in on a great idea, especially in light of current spicy culinary trends and the fact that our culture embraces novelty just as much as diverse flavor choices. However, all of us had a bone to pick regarding the poorly chosen color palate of this particular product, which we though could have easily been more distinctive.

Sure, genuine cinnamon bark has far more of a bronze tone than it does red, but none of us thought that the orange-colored Hot Tamales in this flavor selection were properly indicative of the cinnamon nuances within. Similarly, the remaining red pigmented 3 Alarm candies were so close in tone that unless you’re highly scrutinizing or you hold each one up to the light while comparing them to the color chart on the back of the package, you might inadvertently chow down on a “hottest” rather than a “hotter” Hot Tamale. Editor’s Note: I had no problem picking out the difference in color between hotter and hottest.

After chewing, chit-chatting, combining flavors, critiquing, and then chewing even more, this is what four adults with very different culinary backgrounds thought of each individual Hot Tamales 3 Alarm flavor…

True Hot Tamales aficionados may view this product as slightly more gimmicky than an absolute must have, but the “hottest” flavor in this spicy cinnamon assortment may still happily engage the daredevil within. Regardless of your particular spice tolerance, whip out a pack of these cinnamon treats among mixed company and watch the conversational juices start to flow.

• Hot Tamales 3 Alarm

Candy Addict® received this product as a sample from the manufacturer. No payment was received for this review and all opinions represent an unbiased view of the product.

The 143 year old company has achieved the adoration of the masses, not for their gummy candies or candy corns, but for their ever-enduring collection of creatively flavored “gourmet” jelly beans.

As with the majority of their confectionery biz campadres, Jelly Belly wisely rolls out new products every now and again in an effort to successfully pique the interest of short attention spanned sugar junkies like myself.

Not surprisingly, I have gamely sampled everything from their super fruit-boosted, smoothie-inspired and citrusy, Sunkist-inspired assortments to their carbonated soda copycats and much maligned, taste bud taunting Bean Boozled jelly beans.

Compared to the pedestrian, sugar-coated jelly beans that I naively gobbled up in my youth – which were nothing more than glow-in-the-dark colored, highly refined cane globules – Jelly Belly makes consistently palate pleasing, flavorific beans that have become the reliable go-to fix for fans of chewy little nibbleys.

Chocolate Dips, are certainly a happy little addition to Jelly Belly’s candy empire. Unlike their hard-shelled brethren, these particular beans are liberated from their tough exterior and instead plunged into a very thin coating of glossy, dark, confectioners glaze-laden chocolate which makes for a pretty nifty chewing experience.

While the company apparently sells a five-flavor assortment packaged in a 4.15 ounce box (which includes chocolate-dipped coconut, orange, raspberry, strawberry, and cherry jelly beans), I’ve never seen it in person. Instead, I found an abbreviated selection of the chewy cocoa-covered wonders in 2.8 ounce peg bags (in coconut, orange, cherry, and mint) at a local candy haunt – so I snapped up one of each.

Are you now wondering if you should bother seeking these babies out?

First of all, do yourself a solid and avoid Jelly Belly’s Chocolate Dips in “Mint”… that is, if you’re not a fan of what comes off as being a medicine-like candy. You’d think that I was a card-carrying member of the mint-haters club but in addition to drinking several cups of peppermint tea after dinner, I make a habit of using a mint toothpaste and mouthwash combo twice a day, so what gives?

Quite simply, Jelly Belly’s beanologists were so heavy-handed with the breath-freshening flavor that in spite of its glossy dark chocolate robe, their eensie weensie brown bean is flat-out unpleasant and dare I say far too “earthy” for something masquerading as candy. Imagine ripping a 6 inch piece of mint straight out of your garden (with soil still clinging to the roots), shoving the whole piece in your mouth, and masticating for five minutes. Yup… that’s sort of what happened in my mouth. A chlorophyll-dirt explosion. Bleccchhh!

On the other hand, this sinus-clearing flavor would make a mighty fine post-meal freshening agent. Suck on one or two and you’d be good to go, but truth be told, I haven’t yet returned to my barely-touched bag, which methinks is a bad sign overall.

Things aren’t all doom and gloom in the world of Chocolate Dips however, especially with regard to Jelly Belly’s Very Cherry and Orange flavors. Consistency wise, they’re chewy in a fruity pate gel kind of way which made me a happy camper. The longer I allowed the cherry variety to sit on my tongue, the more apparent the stone fruit flavor became, whereas the orange version was consistently bright and full-bodied from beginning to end.

Does the chocolate exterior really enhance the overall experience? The package gives no indication of the actual cacao content, but it matters not. Once you emerge past the confectioners glaze, move through the perfectly palatable thin chocolate layer and into the heart of the juicy, jelly center, all is good in the candy neighborhood. Jelly Belly’s fruit flavored Dips were fun to munch and tasty through and through.

Let’s not neglect the coconut variety – despite my somewhat low expectations, I found it to be a surprising triumph. While some might feel that perhaps a milk chocolate exterior would be better suited to such a lovely little flavor escape, I found its dark coating to be especially well-suited to the oven toasted, macaroon-like interior.

Gourmet sugar junkies may require a bit more motivation before jumping on board the Jelly Belly Chocolate Dips train, but for those seeking a better than average flavor-boosted chew, their beans deliver the goods for a respectable $1.50 per bag.

• Jelly Belly Website

Okay, fellow Candy Addicts®, it’s time for a road trip! If you live near Greenville, South Carolina, or plan to travel there before June 2, you should plan to stop by The Children’s Museum of the Upstate to see what appears to be an incredible art exhibit. Eight famous “paintings,” including the Mona Lisa and The Starry Night, are on display. The catch? The paintings are made out of Jelly Belly jellybeans — more than 10,000 jellybeans each! Even if you don’t consider yourself an art aficionado, I guarantee that you’ll recognize most of these pictures. And if you visit the museum, you’ll even get a chance create a jellybean mosaic of your own.

Jellybean art is nothing new, but I’ve never had the chance to see it up close and in person, and it weren’t for the minor complication that I live on the other side of the country, I’d have been to see this display several times already. Fortunately, for those of us who are forced to be armchair travelers when it comes to this display, Jelly Belly has an art gallery section on their website that lets you see more images of the jellybean replicas. Check it out!

• Children’s Museum of the Upstate
• Jelly Belly Bean Art Collection

And what about Bonkers!™? Those chewy, fruity rectangles with the soft fruit-filled centers that came in grape, orange, strawberry, watermelon and chocolate flavors, to name a few. (I, of course, was partial to the chocolate ones.) Manufactured by Nabisco, these treasured nuggets were not quite gum, not quite taffy, but something in between. You could find them just about everywhere in the mid-’80s. But sometime in the mid-’90s the candy disappeared.

Now, wipe away those tears, because here’s the part where I brighten your day. The Wacky Wafers™ and Bonkers!™ trademarks have recently been purchased by Leaf Brands® LLC. And they’re planning a market relaunch by the end of 2012. So, while, according to those kooky Mayans, the world is about to end, you’ll at least be given one last chance to savor your favorite candies that stir up pleasant childhood memories.

Who is Leaf Brands, you ask? Well, they’re somewhat of a Superhero to those of us in the delightful land of Candy Addict®. They’re the ones responsible for the recent resurrection of Astro Pops® as well as for launching Farts Candy™ and David’s Signature Beyond Gourmet™ (review on the way).

Which other candies would you like to see brought back from the dead?

• Official Press Release
• Leaf Brands

The year was 1912. The Titanic was sinking, New Mexico was becoming the 47th state and Arizona was becoming the 48th. The Scoville Organoleptic Test was being developed (to rate the spicy heat of a pepper), and, ah, yes, the good ol’ Life Saver was being born.

Hailing from Cleveland, Ohio, weighing approximately 2 grams, the Pep-O-Mint Life Saver was born thanks to the clever determination of his father, Clarence Crane, a chocolate maker who set out to create a sweet treat to beat the summer heat.

Life Savers became so popular that during WWII other candy manufacturers donated sugar rations to sustain production so they could be supplied to the Armed Forces.

In the 100 years since Life Savers were born, the candy has had more than 40 siblings, each uniquely flavored. These include Lic-O-Rice, Cin-O-Mon, Vi-O-Let, Choc-O-Mint, Molas-O-Mint, Lemon-Lime and Wint-O-Green.

Yes, it is true that Wint-O-Green Life Savers cause a spark in the dark—or, if you prefer the fancy scientific term: triboluminescence. Simply sit in a dark room, bring a friend or two, put a Wint-O-Green Life Saver in your mouth and bite. Your friend(s) will be impressed. To my surprise, many people under 30 have never heard of this whole spark in the dark thing. How bizarre!

Despite being kept in the dark regarding the spark, the under 30 demographic does seem awfully familiar with fruit-flavored Life Savers Holes that were born in 1990 or the Gummies, which are just two years younger.

Wrigley, the candy company who owns Life Saver, has launched a joyous website to celebrate this milestone birthday. And what does Life Saver, the man of the hour himself, want for his birthday? … He want you to purchase a 100th Anniversary Life Saver bag and enter the code on the birthday site so that you can donate $1 to a charity. I suppose it all circles back that charitable name of his – Life Saver.

And for those of you who want to reminisce, here’s an old commercial you may remember seeing.

What’s your favorite type of Life Saver? I prefer the Gummies Wild Berries. But I’m not one to ever turn down a spark in the dark, so I suppose I also favor the Wint-O-Green.

• Life Savers Website
• Birthday Press Release

When it comes to jellybeans, it’s hard to compete with Jelly Belly’s multitude of flavors and all-around deliciousness. Still, each year at Easter, jellybean assortments start popping up all over the place. When I spied the display of Trader Joe’s Gourmet Jellybeans, which are made “with colors from fruit & vegetable sources,” I knew I had to try them out. After all, how can I claim that Jelly Belly is best unless I’ve personally sampled all the competing brands?

I was excited to try these, but my eagerness began to wane as soon as I opened the bag and took a good whiff. Something about those fruit and vegetable sources gives the bag a mighty powerful and peculiar odor. And then, once I got the bag opened and gulped a few breaths of fresh air, it became apparent that, for the discerning snacker, these jellybeans will require time and perseverance rather than mindless face-stuffing. There are 18 flavors in the bag, which, for the sake of variety, sounds great, but for the sake of determining what the heck you’re about to taste, is maddening. There’s just one blue (blueberry) and one green (apple), so those are easy to pick out. But if you’re looking for a flavor that isn’t blue or green, then you’ve got your work cut out for you.

Raspberry, cherry, and strawberry are nearly identical in hue. Mango and pomegranate are the same shade of orange, except that mango has tiny red splotches and pomegranate has tiny yellow ones. (Then there’s passion fruit, which is also orange, only without the speckles.) Coconut is white, while lemon is tinged with only the faintest yellow. At first, I dug through the bag, muttering to myself about what color combination I wanted. Then I started holding up jellybeans to the light, one at a time, and peering at the wrapper to try to compare the jellybean with the picture I hoped it represented. Finally, I gave up all hope of ever being able to find a banana split jellybean on my own and left it to fate to deliver one to me, eventually.

My ability to discern what I was eating didn’t necessarily improve once I bit into the jellybeans, either. I never learned to differentiate between the raspberry and cherry, and not for lack of trying. I did like the ambiguous “red” flavor, though, which was both sweet and tart. Most of the oranges blurred together, too, with vaguely tropical but otherwise indistinct flavors. And the lemon jellybean tasted awfully similar to its cousin, lemon-lime. Still, some flavors did stand out. Strawberry smoothie and grape were wonderful. Tangerine had a good citrusy zip to it. And the apple was nicely fruity without the lingering floral aftertaste I got from some of the other fruit flavors.

The candies are small, about the size of Jelly Belly jellybeans, with thin shells and thick, chewy centers. I paid $3.99 for a 15-ounce bag. If you’re the sort of jellybean eater who can reach blindly into the bag and then happily chow down on whatever you might pull out, then these are worth a shot. But if you prefer that all your flavors be distinct from one another, in both taste and appearance, then Trader Joe’s Gourmet Jelly Beans probably aren’t the jellybeans for you.

• Trader Joe’s

Upon racing home and tearing into the package, however, three different layers of bubble wrap will leap out to reveal the actual buzz kill within. You wanna know what $12.55 really buys you at See’s Candy these days? A spartan Easter themed collection consisting of two 2.2 ounce foil wrapped hollow milk chocolate bunnies, three smallish marshmallow eggs (including two milk chocolate dipped and one Scotchmallow), three even more diminutive crème eggs, eight individual jellybeans, and three solid (albeit thumbnail-sized) milk chocolate eggs.

Now, I know that throughout the years, my candy enthusiastic colleagues have mightily praised the goodies coming off of See’s factory line, from their Awesome Nut Chew Bars to their Scotchmallow Eggs. By no means am I disputing their mutual consensus that See’s Candy produces reliably flavorful treats that are clearly high in quality — certainly, that fact alone helps to justify their higher price point.

What I do take issue with, however, is the misleading package size of this particular Easter collection. If you purchase it with the intention of dazzling your child, brace yourself for their noticeably dejected facial expression as they long for the free-for-all days of sugar gorging that only Halloween can provide. Truthfully, you’d have to purchase at least two of See’s Easter Assortments to fulfill the unbridled holiday expectations of the younger set. At that rate, your $25 could yield a far more substantial Easter basket dividend if you instead purchased all of the traditional goodies at a big box retailer.

Nevertheless, there is a place for this collection — in the hands of the person hosting the Easter soiree you plan on attending this year. For restrained adult recipients who aren’t necessarily besotted by volume but appreciative of quality, this is a respectable choice that will put a sweet little smile on their face.

Yeah, but how does See’s Easter Assortment taste? First the bad news. The jellybeans are a sugary forgettable afterthought lacking even a remote hint of real fruit flavor despite their shiny, gumball tinted exteriors. Both the foil wrapped milk chocolate mini eggs and hollow Easter bunnies should also be considered a decorative accent to the other far more worthy contents within because – at least flavor-wise — nothing about them really stands out.

As far as the good news is concerned, the two amply dipped milk chocolate covered marshmallow eggs are soft and pliable with none of the funky chemically aftertaste you might find with drug store versions. Similarly, the dark chocolate dipped Scotchmallow egg – teaming with a soft marshmallow and caramel center – is toothsome, satisfying, and will likely be a fleeting memory based on the speed with which your gift recipient will gobble it up.

Ditto for See’s three wee bitty filled eggs bursting with chocolate butter crème, vanilla chip, and strawberry centers. Yum…but heyyy, where’d they go? To be fair, they are about the same size as an average filled chocolate – just egg shaped for your holiday appreciation – but you’ll wish that they were a tad bit more substantial given the champagne dreams price tag of the complete collection and the fact that 50% of it consists of what sugar snobs like me refer to as edible filler.

Would I purchase this collection again? No sir-eeee Bob. Would I purchase something else at See’s? Most definitely – I’m still dying to try their apparently highly coveted Mayfair Egg — a pecan and glace cherry laden confection that is woefully sold out every single time I visit their brick and mortar store front! Not every chocolate assortment can make the grade, and I admit that my standards might be a bit higher than the average sugar aficionado, so if paying for extraneous packaging and filler candy doesn’t faze you, then this puppy makes the grade!

• See’s Candies Website

I grew up spending ten cents a pop on Jolly Rancher candies at my small town news stand. Those hard little rectangles (especially the watermelon flavor) were a favorite among me and my elementary school crowd. I still love a good Jolly Rancher today. When I saw these Jolly Rancher Fruit Chews at the Five Below store near me, I thought I’d give them a shot.

The box is a compact size so it’ll fit easily in your purse or pocket should you desire to bring them with you everywhere. There are only four flavors: blue raspberry, watermelon, green apple and cherry. I had an overabundance of blue raspberry in my box but thankfully I did have at least one of each flavor in there to give a good review.

Each piece is a small rectangle, about ¾ of an inch long. These are a real easy candy to chew. The only other candy I could really compare these too are Starburst, but these are much softer and easier to chew. They’re more of that powdery type of chewy candy rather than a taffy type of chewiness. Jolly Rancher Fruit Chews are a quick easy chew, but they’re packed with flavor.

The blue raspberry pieces are bright blue and have that distinct blue raspberry taste. The candy is not sour but rather a true basic blue raspberry, a little tart mixed with sweet. The watermelon is a deep pink colored candy and is that watermelon flavor I loved as a kid. The green apple is a bright, neon green color and the flavor is a good basic apple flavor, not a green apple in particular. The cherry is a good red color and the flavor is a basic candy cherry flavor. These are not a true fruit flavor but more like what you would expect a fruit flavor candy to be like. It’s that almost “too good to be true” taste. I wish fruit really tasted like these Jolly Ranchers.

I’m always a bit skeptical when a candy company tries to come up with a new product based on an old one. I’m an “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” type of girl. But, these fruit chews are honestly really good. The flavors stay 100% true to the classic Jolly Rancher hard candy I loved as a kid. Each time I ate a piece it took me back to the good old days.

• Buy Jolly Rancher Candy Online
• Jolly Rancher Website