I grabbed this box without looking too closely when I saw it at my local Japanese market. As you might gather from my last Crunky review, I was hoping to use it as part of my continuing quest to convince English-speakers to love Crunky instead of just making fun of its name.

However, I wasn’t sure this plan would work, because I assumed that what I had was white chocolate. Now, I love almost everything Japanese and I love white chocolate. But with the exception of Crunky, I usually find Japanese chocolate to be not of the highest quality. And white chocolate, with such a mild flavor, has nothing to hide behind – if it’s not of the best quality, it’s horrid.

But when I got home and looked more closely, the plot began to thicken. I wondered why the box had an illustration of a bowl of ice cream on it. The text next to the picture was something that I could only interpret as “Kanji Kanji Kanji Vanilla” (kanji being the Japanese version of Chinese characters, of which I can only read a couple dozen, none of which were included here).

On the back, the pasted-on English label only deepened the mystery at first: “Okinawa Shiovanil.” And this time the problem was not one of language, exactly. I know that “shio” means “salt.” But salt-vanilla? Salt-vanilla ice cream?

Well, some persistent Googling – don’t ever say that I don’t go all out for you, Candy Addict readers – eventually revealed that sea salt ice cream is some kind of local specialty of Okinawa. If you don’t want to go all the way to Okinawa, reportedly you may be able to get it at Tokyo Disneyland, or at an Okinawan ice cream chain that has opened a store in Shibuya. Also, apparently you should be thankful if this is the flavor that your Okinawan friends press you to try, because another alternative is bitter melon.

After this absurd amount of background research I was finally prepared to actually eat the stuff, and well, if I hadn’t done all that research, I’m not sure I would have thought this was anything other than very mild white chocolate. That is what it basically is, after all – since white chocolate commonly has vanilla flavoring in it, the difference between a white chocolate Crunky and a vanilla sea salt white chocolate Crunky can only be a subtle one.

But I think there is a difference: this does not have a strong cocoa butter taste, but, unlike most white chocolate that doesn’t have a strong cocoa butter taste, it is NOT nasty. It tastes like a good creamy vanilla thing, not a bad cheap white chocolate.

I do think I detect a subtle aftertaste of salt as well, but really, basically this is quite good and not particularly exotic. The crunch is less strongly flavored than in the regular milk chocolate Crunky, no doubt to avoid overpowering the more subtle vanilla flavor. The result is a candy that is not going to slap you upside the head with vivid flavors, but if you can appreciate a creamy vanilla sweet – something you get less often in candy than in cake or pastry – you should try it.

The packaging is also great if you want help minimizing your candy consumption – the box contains ten very tiny individually wrapped pieces. I know this isn’t very planet-friendly, but I love it that the Japanese do this. I appreciate that this packaging allows me to leave some for later without it getting stale – and also keeps me from eating the whole thing at once, which would have been a little too easy with this one.

Once again the verdict is the same: English speakers: Don’t laugh at Crunky – eat it!

Editor’s Note: You can buy Crunky at Jlist during cooler months – no chocolate is shipped during the summer. Sorry!

When I think of lollipops, I think of, well… lollipops. I try not to read too much into the whole adult humor and related connotations that can be associated with such a candy. Apparently, the folks at Das Foods think differently than I do.

I was supposed to receive a shipment from them, but for some reason it never arrived at my doorstep, but as luck would have it, they were attending the All Candy Expo, which provided me an opportunity to pick up some samples on site.

It was hard to miss to the Das Foods booth; they hired four dancers from UIUC to perform a Das Lolli dance routine and socialize with the attending clientele. Since most of the people attending the convention were males, I suppose their ploy worked, as there was always a crowd at their booth.

Even the packaging (think something circular within a square, plastic wrapper that isn’t candy) or the taglines of “What’s your flava?” and “Shamefully delicious lollipops” are begging for an adult audience, which is odd given the premise that these are all natural lollipops made without preservatives, HFC, and chemical additives. Seems like a good thing to give your kids, but I’m not sure how you explain what exactly “Man Bait” is supposed to mean…

The Das Lolli assortment is comprised of four flavors:

Fab-O-Pom: This translucent pink lollipop has no fragrance to it, but the taste is strong right off the bat. It isn’t too sweet, with a slight zest factor that gives it a nice rounded quality on the palate. Neither orange nor pomegranate is present flavor-wise, and for some reason I taste hibiscus in mine. On the plus side, they’re not sticky, but there’s an odd herbal quality instead of fruit.

Naughty Ginger: This dark yellow sucker has a nice ginger flavor that intensifies into a slight burn. The ginger quality and taste borders on the crystallized variety. Unlike the last one, I can easily detect the lemon zest overtones in this piece. These reminded me of cinnamon in the way cinnamon can create that spicy quality on your tongue. I enjoyed the duality of the tart and spicy, but found myself wanting more of a savory presence like rosemary or thyme to fully balance out the different flavors. This was still my favorite.

Caramel Me Happy: This piece is dark brown. I was looking forward to this piece in particular because Das Foods already carved a niche for itself in caramels, and felt this would be an obvious transition in flavor for them. Unfortunately, the flavor in these takes a long time to develop, and isn’t ever fully realized. I enjoyed the salty quality, but I found that minimal too.

I don’t eat bacon, something I found put me in the minority at ACE considering the other non-Candy Addict bloggers spent a good ten minutes professing their love of bacon to each other during a luncheon; however, Cadence, who isn’t a fan of bacon per se, will eat it, and she thankfully gave me her response to this one.

Man Bait: As soon as I opened the package, I could smell the smoky, slightly acrid aroma of bacon. The first taste was very sweet, with a nice maple flavor that surprised me because it wasn’t that artificial maple taste. Then the flavor changes to a salty, sweet mix and the smoky bacon kicks in. The bacon flavor reminded me of the bacon bits you add to salad – artificial and strong. The bacon flavor sort of hijacks the maple, so what you end up with is a salty, sweet, slightly maple-y, bacon-flavored lollipop. The texture is a bit odd: it gets progressively bumpier as you uncover the bacon bits embedded in the sugar. I have to say that the mixture of the salt and the sweet was surprisingly good. A very interesting, unusual lolli.

Personally, I wouldn’t crave any of these aside from the ginger ones, but none are bad by any means. Try them if you get a chance to. You might like them more than I did, and I doubt you’ll hate them. If nothing else, it’s nice to see folks approaching candy with a sense of humor, albeit an adult-rated one, and crafting a series of adult flavors as opposed to the traditional.

• Das Lolli Website

The Earth’s environment is crumbling around us. Actually, it has been for some time. Most of us would like to protect our planet. After all, as wonderful and convenient as the digital world is, most of us would like to introduce our kids to a non-virtual reality.

But without being a scientist, or being independently wealthy, what’s a person to do? Well, you can recycle, but Candy Dynamics has cooked up an alternative that’s far more fun. Now, you can help the Earth by eating toxic waste!

Yes, you read right! Toxic Waste candies are whacked-out novelties with a mission. With each purchase of a Toxic Waste product, a share of the profits are donated to an environmental protection group. The theme is cute, if slightly creepy.

Aside from a heaping helping of sour, I didn’t really know what to expect when a large box from Candy Dynamics arrived at my door last week. I like jelly belly sours, sour gummi belts, and IceBreakers Sours, but I’m not much of a Crybaby fan. Aside from Trident “Sour Strawberry” gum, I didn’t really have any experience with gums in the sour canon. The packing list described the gum as “Hi-Voltage”. I wondered what I was in for.

The box contained miniature drums of sour candy and a pack with 30 sticks of “Hi-Voltage Bubble Gum”. As we had already reviewed Toxic Waste Candy, I was only obligated to taste the gum. Still, with so much candy, and a limited number of sour Candy Addicts in my acquaintance, I could only hope that I’d like everything. I really dislike wasting food, especially candy!

I was immediately impressed with the candy’s theme. The box designs include yellow-and-black caution tape, a mad scientist by the name of “Dr. Sauernoggin,” and a very harried-looking anthropomorphized mushroom cloud. As the bulk packaging is stripped away, the candy’s theme continues.

The Hi-Voltage Bubble Gum, which touts itself as “Nuclear Gum with a Hazardously Sour Center!”, resembles sticks of uranium. Extracting the Blue Raspberry gum from a three-stick package, I lifted it to my mouth. It didn’t appear to be coated with powder. Thank goodness. I gingerly licked the top of the stick. It’s sweet, vaguely fruity taste and rigid texture reminded me of Bazooka Joe. So far, so good.

Throwing caution to the wind, I bit. I let out a yelp. This was like the the coating on Toxic Waste’s hard candies, multiplied by ten. Rather than a dusting of sour powder, this gum had a center of the stuff, a quarter-inch or so in diameter. The acidity was such that I couldn’t tell if the center was sour or salty. This stuff is oral torture… I’m surprised they aren’t using these in Guantanamo Bay. I endured a minute or so of chewing. By the time I dispensed with the blue wad, my teeth hurt.

It’s been two days since my experience with this gum, and I’m still having difficulty chewing my food. Forget caramels or marshmallows – Toxic Waste candy has got to be a dentist’s worst nightmare. I suppose if you’re a super-sour fanatic, or big on pain in general, you might enjoy what Candy Dynamics and “Dr. Sauernoggin” have cooked up. Besides, by stocking up you’ll be providing a valuable service to the environment. It’s a shame that I find these so awful – I really like the idea behind this product line, and love the theme. However, I have no desire to eat Toxic Waste again.

• Toxic Waste Candy Website

Buy Toxic Waste Candy Online:

• at Candy Direct
• at Amazon.com

For those of us who can’t function in the morning without at least two cups of coffee, (or, in my case, a giant Red Bull), the idea of a product that promises the awesomeness of candy plus the benefits of caffeine is hard to beat. And for hardcore caffeinated Candy Addicts, Jitterbeans (or Crackheads Squared) are a dream come true.

I first came across the original Crackheads at last year’s All Candy Expo. The name alone had caused quite a stir, as you can imagine, but as Brian noted in his review of the original Crackheads, it was the addition of white chocolate that really set Crackheads apart from other chocolate covered espresso beans. What I like about the original Crackheads is the sweetness of the chocolate; both the dark and white chocolate used provide a soft, sugary shell for the bitter, crunchy bean within, creating a nice balance of tastes and textures.

Crackheads Squared, or Jitterbeans, as they are alternately known, amp up the taste, texture, and caffeine levels of the original Crackheads. One box of Jitterbeans has 600mg of caffeine – that’s more than 11 colas, 7.5 Red Bulls, or 6 cups of coffee. In other words, you might not want to eat an entire box at once, lest you end up like Jessie Spano on Saved by the Bell.

The difference between Crackheads and Jitterbeans is noticeable as soon as you open the box: whereas the original Crackheads had a softer appearance, with the white chocolate pieces taking on a slightly vanilla color, Jitterbeans are shiny and bright, and have more of a crunch to them than their predecessor. The coffee taste is more pronounced in Jitterbeans; here, the espresso is definitely the star, and the chocolate to coffee bean ration is tipped in its favor, which is a plus or minus, depending on which flavor you really prefer.

Personally, I enjoy the original Crackheads a bit more, but only because I’m the type of person who loads her coffee with sugar and milk to drown out the strong coffee taste, and the originals tend to allow more of the sweet, chocolaty flavor to come through. However, I will say this: both Crackheads and Jitterbeans get the job done, kids. I followed the recommended serving of 7 pieces and felt as if I’d had my morning Red Bull (without which, I usually get grumpy, sluggish, and pretty bad headaches). I was alert, awake, and ready to go. And to be quite honest with you, I’ll take any excuse I can get to be able to say, “I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve had my morning candy.” Because what Candy Addict doesn’t want to start the day like that?

BONUS: We’re giving away a Crackheads gift pack too! One lucky winner will win a Crackheads T-shirt, 3 boxes of original Crackheads, and one box of new Crackheads Squared. All you have to do is answer one simple question. “What city did Crackheads originate in?” (hint – look on the Crackheads Candy website). Email your answer to jitterbeans@candyaddict.com. One lucky winner will be randomly chosen from all correct entries. FINE PRINT: Entries must be received by midnight EST, Friday, Feb 20. Contest open to US residents 18 years or older only. One entry per email address. Not responsible for misdirected/unanswered emails. If winner doesn’t respond to the winning email in 48 hours, a new winner will be chosen.

• Jitterbeans Candy Website

Buy Jitterbeans/Crackheads Online:

• at Think Geek
• at Amazon.com

On my last trip to my favorite Asian grocery store, T&T, I was surprised to find what looked like a lot of takeout coffee cups on the shelf in the candy section. Had a crowd of coffee drinkers decided to abandon their beverages in the candy aisle en masse? But upon closer inspection, it was merely the latest candy offering from Glico, Walky Walky – a pellet-shaped candy packaged in a container that resembles a fast-food coffee cup.

The coffee-cup-shaped container is a cute gimmick, even if it did lead me to believe that they might be coffee-flavored. (Coffee and strawberries? Surely not.) Since they’re made by Glico, otherwise known as “the Pocky people,” my first thought upon looking at the package was to wonder if these were just a bunch of Pocky sticks that had been sliced up into little Tart ‘N’ Tiny-sized pellets, and this first impression turned out to be pretty much correct.

The name “Walky Walky” even sounds a bit like “Pocky” – whether this is intentional or not I don’t know (it’s not like Engrish snack names are known for being logical). I suppose the idea behind the name is that these are easier to eat “on the go” than regular Pocky, though it’s not like Pocky are an awkward shape to eat while walking or anything.

It seems like you’re supposed to tip them right into your mouth, as the coffee cup shape would suggest, since shaking a bunch of pellets into your hand from a coffee-cup-lid-style opening is actually kind of a tricky thing to do while walking. The idea seems to be that this is a snack for the Starbucks generation – a quick little pick-me-up that’s as convenient as your neighborhood java joint.

Shaking a bunch into your mouth at a time is actually not a bad way to eat them, since you really have to eat a decent-sized handful at a time in order to get the full effect – a single one has very little crunch and nearly no strawberry flavor. But when you eat a bunch at once, it’s definitely like having a mouthful of strawberry Pocky. The strawberry coating is pretty dead-on with the flavor of strawberry Pocky too – a milky strawberry flavor, like strawberry ice cream.

Actually, it’s kind of a “more Pocky than Pocky” experience because you’re putting a whole bunch in your mouth instead of one thin stick, and while regular Pocky can sometimes be a little skimpy on the coating, these definitely weren’t.

As a Pocky fan, I quite enjoyed the Walky Walky, though they were a lot more expensive than a regular-sized box of strawberry Pocky. I think they’re a very interesting experiment, and I’m hoping Glico decides to branch out into some of the other flavors from Pocky’s extensive lineup.

• Glico’s Website

Buy Walky Walky online:

• at Jbox.com
• at Amazon.com

I recently took a week off from my regular job to visit the beautiful city of Montreal, Quebec. But that doesn’t mean I also neglected my duties as staff writer for Candy Addict. No, I made sure to keep my eyes peeled for a truly Quebec-specific sweet. But at first, I found only the same overpriced gift-shop candy you can find anywhere in Canada: cheap chocolate-covered almonds packaged as “moose droppings” and hard candies “made with real maple syrup” (read: 90% regular sugar and 10% of the good stuff). But then, while exploring Montreal’s Chinatown, in a hole-in-the-wall storefront, I discovered something truly unique at last.

(Later, once I’d had time to do more shopping in areas that weren’t 90% tacky tourist gift shops, I also found some great candy stores and artisan chocolatiers. But that’s a subject for another review.)

The white, wispy objects in the photo above, believe it or not, are candy. They’re called Dragon’s Beard Candy, and they were apparently a favorite sweet in China’s Imperial Court, making them over 2000 years old. Dragon’s Beard Candy consists of fine, hairlike filaments of sugar surrounding a center of (according to the stall’s owner) peanuts, coconut, sesame, brown sugar and chocolate.

We’ve actually reviewed them once already. But those were expensive and had to be shipped all the way from China, and these were cheap and freshly hand-made – the stall prominently featured a bin of nutty filling and a big lump of brown rock sugar. How could I resist?

Up close, they resemble balls of fine thread or fresh rice vermicelli noodles more closely than they do cotton candy, which I guess would be the nearest North American equivalent. Pulling one free felt like pulling a cotton ball in half, and it felt like putting a cotton ball in my mouth as well. It was pretty apparent that they weren’t made of spun sugar like the ones we reviewed before, but rather a soft, very finely spun dough that wasn’t actually all that sweet. (Whether that means I’m not getting the authentic article, I couldn’t say.)

Once in my mouth, the cottony exterior quickly softened into a sort of very delicate dough. The dough didn’t have much flavor, and it quickly gave way to the crunchy, brown sugar-crisp filling. Despite the stall’s long list of filling ingredients, I was only able to detect peanuts and crunchy bits of brown sugar. Once you really got chewing, the brown sugar and dough mingled into something very like a peanut-studded caramel – it actually tasted disconcertingly like the inside of a Snickers bar. Despite being called a candy, they reminded me more of those baklava pastries made with shredded phyllo dough and filled with honeyed nuts, only less crisp.

As an experience, they were interesting. Would I go out of my way to buy them again? Well, probably not. But that being said, I recommend giving them a try if you’re ever in the Montreal area. After all, how often do you get to taste a candy fit for an emperor?

Buy Dragon’s Beard Candy Online:

• at Amazon.com

Normally, I’m reticent to eat candy from Mom-and-Pop stores like The Choke Cherry Tree. It’s not that I don’t believe that a small-time company can’t compete with the Teuschers of the world, but it’s very difficult.

And how many times have I heard an endearing story about a small business and its great craft to only to be let down by its quality? Sadly… many. And I do like a good story mind you, but as much as I enjoy the tale of how Milton Hershey stumbled upon his success with an episode of sour milk, I still strongly dislike his chocolate bar.

So, the story of how Grandpa Bill (who sadly passed away in May) started his candy-making business from jam and preserve beginnings at his grandmother’s apron strings made me more than a little wary. Still, it would be premature to write-off the Choke Cherry Tree before sampling their products, and having done so, I can honestly say a least a significant portion of their hype is not only well-deserved, but also well-earned.

Plain Caramels: These were the babies Grandpa Bill launched an empire with, so I thought it would be fitting to start with them. Unwrapping them from their wax paper rolls, a clear indication that they are not only hand-made, but hand-wrapped, they resemble beige Tootsie Rolls, but twice the size.

The piece has a slight stick to it, but nothing drastic, and thankfully, no waxy presence to be detected. I take a whiff and it smells like cinnamon, an unexpected aroma from a caramel. This surprise is minute compared to the others I receive as I bite into the glorious candy.

It is so, so, so… soft. That is the first reaction that I cannot get out of my head. Much like I was surprised consuming English toffee, the pliable counterpart to American toffee, these took me breath away. I never associated the words “soft” and “caramels” together. My logic tells me that these must be prepared slightly under the soft crack stage when cooking to achieve such an effect, but even then I am not so sure since there is no indication of an undercooked quality in the flavors.

The taste is buttery and creamy, reminding me of a snickerdoodle, which is again an association completely out of joint with my perception of caramels, but a lovely one nonetheless. There is also no stick factor, which means no remnant pieces are affixing to your teeth.

These are hands down the most refined and delicious caramels I have ever tried. To call them caramels seems almost an injustice since they defy the stereotype of what people are accustomed to eating. Beyond the pleasurable texture, the taste refrains from being bold and overly-sweet, relying on a sophisticated blend of flavors to present a complete taste package to the consumer. It is easy to fathom how Grandpa Bill manage to build an entire line of these alone because they are that fantastic.

Caramels with Nuts: These are a bit firmer to the touch. A quick smell reveals the presence of walnuts, an interesting companion to caramel. When tasting, the same, smooth nature of the regular caramels that impressed me so is still present in this version.

The nuts, however, are the main flavor component, almost praline in their chewiness, as at times they even seem to be a viscous liquid and not a crunchy solid. The packaging did not reveal which nuts were infused, but my tongue told me walnuts and pecans were present. Exploring the website, it revealed my tongue was correct, but almonds were embedded, too.

I do enjoy nuts, but I can’t say I did in this fashion. In this case, their flavors were too bold to share the stage with each other in such a dense and small morsel of candy that is the caramel. I couldn’t taste the almond and I lost the flavors I enjoyed about the regular version. There is simply too much going on in this piece.

Overall, it is still pleasant, and nut-lovers will enjoy this piece more than I did, but tasters should be prepared for the combustion of flavors and a minimal burning of the throat from the richness.

Baby Buffalo Chips: O.K., before I review these, let me explain what a “poop” is. It’s a caramel coated in chocolate that is shaped in a spherical-like object that resembles… well you know.

I think my pieces were somewhat melted in transit, but if that is true, it does not diminish the nice dark chocolate aroma wafting up to my nostrils. Again, the feathery caramel I adore so much is the star component.

I will say that I did not really care for these. I believe the chocolate coating is too thin, with no snap to it, indicating that these might be produced from tempered chocolate. It also has a slight waxiness indicative of tempered chocolate.

Breaking of a piece of the residual chocolate, it reminds me of the semi-sweet morsels Nestle manufactures for baking. Is this what they temper? Probably not, but it tastes like it. As such, people familiar with those chips know that it’s a faint chocolate, explaining why the taste of it was overpowered by the caramel.

There were overtones of fruit and honey, but nothing as complex as the regular caramel. I believe after trying these that my theory that chocolate goes well with caramel but caramel does not go well with chocolate is further confirmed.

Moose Poop: The smell of these resembles the Buffalo Chips, and they too seem a bit melted. The break is easy, soft to bite through as always, and the same mélange of pecans and walnuts is detectable as they were in the caramels with nuts.

These seem to just be the caramels with nuts coated in the muted chocolate. Even more than before, with the nuts overpowering one another within the presence of caramel, the added chocolate here is just too congested.

Almond Toffee: I previously reviewed LalaBoodle’s line of toffee, and though I did not think they were amazing, they were very respectable, and I often use them as a benchmark for good toffee. I feel the Choke Cherry Tree suffers from the same inherent flaws as LalaBoodle.

The smell is of various baked goods you might smell when walking into a pastry shop, undoubtedly a result of the butter. The piece itself is crunchy, not hard to bite into, contained in respect to its stickiness factor, and not too rich to be enjoyed.

The negative of this is that the almonds and chocolate are obscured by the bolder toffee taste. I feel these would have been more successful without the two added ingredients; if they were to be kept, a thicker layer would be needed to counter the toffee.

My overall impression of the Choke Cherry Tree is still a positive one, if mainly because of the caramels. Those babies alone are worth all the praise in the world. I can understand why Grandpa Bill wanted to expand his confectionery line by infusing the caramels with more intricate components, but the additions mask and mar the beauty that is the refined “scrumtrulescent” nature of the original product.

I have always harbored a secret desire to have my own reality TV show on the Food Network, where I get to take a road trip across the country, visiting the best candy factories the US has to offer. If I ever did have such a show, I would have to make a stop at Pagosa Springs, the finest caramel capital of the world.

Editor’s Note: I personally love mom-and-pop operations, and The Choke Cherry Tree is no exception. You might not get fancy-schmancy packaging, but you get a real personal feel and some freaking delicious caramels (no, seriously, best caramels ever) in the process. If you’re looking for a great gift for yourself or someone else this coming holiday season, you should definitely give these folks a try. You won’t be disappointed.

• The Choke Cherry Tree Website

And then there was U-No. This is the fourth and final oddly-named retro bar in my mini-cycle of candy that spiraled out of a dream I thought I had about overhearing a woman speaking to her husband when in New York City. (The other three candies are Oh Henry! Look!, and the 5th Avenue bar.)

Unlike those other three bars, I had U-No as a kid. And I remember liking it. So today we’ll see if I’m transported back to those halcyon days of rare treats, or caught in a transporter with a fly, like Jeff Goldblum, with disastrous consequences. And really, I’m a little worried, because my childhood taste was far from infallible.

Two things I didn’t realize growing up: U-No’s have powdered buttermilk and crushed almonds in them. That might have freaked me out at 8, but it intrigues me now.

So, will I still like this unique candy in the lunar-module, super-shiny wrapper?

Yes. Yes I do! Call me Ishmael, but this isn’t the white whale from my past that the captain was fearing. No albatross, here. A harpoon full of… okay, I’ll stop.

But is this bar for everyone? No, it’s not. But check this out. U-No’s have a very cool, truffle-like interior. Imagine 3 Musketeers, but an even finer, melt-in-your mouth quality. And the flavor is far more interesting than the boring cape-guy candy.

For one thing, the first ingredient is milk chocolate, and unlike the crass and tasteless rush to substitute vegetable oil for real cocoa butter from many big names, U-No still has the real thing. Niiiice.

The filling also has those finely crushed almonds and buttermilk. And I’m saying FINELY crushed. I mean, these nuts must be pulverized, because if you let a U-No piece melt in your mouth (which it does quite nicely), you are only occasionally left with a minuscule fiber of an almond. But the nuts do give the bar a nice background flavor. As for the buttermilk, it seems to give the truffle-like filling an airy dairy flavor. I don’t get any overt butter or sour flavor at all. Overall, I’m reminded of a Carnation powered breakfast drink. But smoother. With some nuttiness. And covered in chocolate.

In closing: my childhood self came through. U-No the score, indeed. Yeah, this bar’s pretty simple by modern standards, but it’s got a great texture and an unusual airy chocolate, super mild almond taste. I mean, your grandma could lose her dentures and still chomp down on this thing with enjoyment.

(By the way, I never did learn why they named this bar a U-No back in the 1920’s. Just waiting for legions of cell-toting text-jockeys, perhaps?)

And so concludes my mini-round up of oddly named retro candy that you can form into a ridiculous sentence. (Professional driver on a closed track. Try this stunt at your own risk.) I think it’s fun to taste the candy bars of your ancestors. It’s like visiting an antique store with your mouth, but sweet, and without so much dust. So, hey: thanks candy pioneers of the past.

• Annabelle Candy Website

Buy U-No Online:

• at Old Time Candy
• at Amazon.com

Here we are, with the third in my series of four oddly-named candy bars (that is, the Oh Henry!, Look!, 5th Avenue, and U-No).

In 1936 it seemed a great idea to William Luden (of cough-drop fame) to name a food after a street in New York City. Now, sure, linking your candy bar to arguably the wealthiest bit of real estate in the world might seem to be a good move to give your candy some cachet, but present-day maker Hershey should remember this: it also sets high expectations. (Yes, I know there’s a 5th Avenue in Reading, PA, where this bar was made, but don’t tell me they weren’t trying to associate their bar with the famous Manhattan boulevard.)

When you open this big bar (2 oz, 56g), you immediately smell the peanuts. Hershey’s label describes the bar as “crunchy peanut butter in a rich, chocolately coating.” Notice, they didn’t say a chocolate coating. We know what this means, unfortunately. Yup, it’s mockolate.

Still, maybe this candy tastes good anyway. Is it, for example, better than a Butterfinger?

Oh yeah it’s better than a Butterfinger! (However, you should know my feelings about Butterfingers before you think I’m paying the 5th Avenue a big compliment.)

The 5th Avenue has a single interior layer that’s crumbly, lightly crunchy, peanutty, and very sweet. Unlike a Butterfinger, the filling doesn’t gum up your teeth, and it has a better peanut flavor. Although the chocolate coating isn’t as waxy and terrible as Butterfinger’s, the 5th Avenue’s coating doesn’t win any prizes from me, either. It just barely tastes of cocoa at all (it’s the 8th ingredient), and it comes across more or less like a brown-colored blast of corn syrup.

Like the Look! candy bar I reviewed recently, the 5th Avenue has molasses, but here I could hardly taste it. The peanut butter of this bar is okay, but doesn’t taste very fresh or especially tasty. Like most cheap candy bars, the flavors aren’t very distinct or interesting. This bar loads on the fat and sugar, with the other ingredients sort of feeling like a smudge on your palate.

Still, this bar isn’t disastrous. I do like the texture, and it is… better than a Butterfinger. But that’s kinda like saying that your harmless boring uncle is better than your nasty grandfather.

But unlike your family, you get to pick your candy. I’ll have to keep looking for a good peanutty chocolate bar. Clark bar, maybe? Before I try one, though, I’m finishing my series of oddly-named retro candy bars with a U-No. U-Yes!

• Hershey’s 5th Avenue Website

Buy 5th Avenue Online:

• at Old Time Candy
• at Amazon.com

Hey everybody, Look! It’s the second candy bar in my four-bar round-up of some oddly named candy that includes Oh Henry!, 5th Avenue, and U-No.

Look! candy bars are made by the Annabelle Candy Company, a San Francisco bay-area concern founded in 1917 by Russian immigrant Sam Altshuler, and named after his daughter (the company, not the bar. His daughter’s name was not “Look!”). (And yes, you’re right, there was a spot of bother that year in Russia.)

Annabelle candy bars are best-sellers in western states, and include the Rocky Road, Big Hunk, Abba-Zabba and U-No bars. Today’s item, Look!, was invented in the 1950’s by the Golden Nugget Candy Co., which Annabelle acquired in 1972. I doubt you’ve ever had a candy bar quite like this. And there may be a good reason.

Here’s how Annabelle describes these bars: “Thick chewy nougat sweetened with molasses,” with “roasted peanuts covered with mouth watering rich dark chocolate.”

We’ll see.

Having just reviewed the Oh Henry! bar, I was keen to compare Look!, since both 1) have peanuts and chocolate, 2) have nougat-like qualities, and 3) use exclamation points in their name for some annoying reason.

And yet, these bars are extremely different. While Oh Henry! has a traditional candy bar shape and texture, Look! bars are thin flat rectangles, and far more dense. In fact, they’re very chewy – kind of like chocolate-covered taffy with nuts in it. And though the wrapper describes the candy as “chocolate covered nougat with peanuts,” and they list egg whites as an ingredient, this is the hardest nougat you’re likely ever to meet. I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m just saying it’s different.

Also different to this bar are two rare ingredients in the mass-produced candy-bar world of 2008: honey and molasses.

So what’s all this mean for the flavor? Well, this candy bar is kinda weird, and I don’t really like it. Very important to know: the molasses is quite noticeable, and gives the bar a rounded flavor. But if you don’t like that flavor, you probably won’t like the Look! bar. On the other hand, it works pretty well with the thin layer of chocolate coating by masking it. (If you just lick that coating, it tastes really terrible – as bitter and cheap as a bottle of Thurderbird.)

The verdict: Look! is sort of a screwy version of a Big Hunk (a candy bar I really like, probably because it doesn’t have a horrible-tasting chocolate coating). The molasses flavor is interesting, and I like the chew factor, but the ‘dark chocolate’ coating brings unhappiness to all. In fact, I’m chucking the rest of this bar.

(By the way, I couldn’t find out why this bar is called “Look!,” so let’s just presume it represents the lowest form of a marketing strategy to garner attention. Of course, maybe they’d have a bigger seller on their hands if they called it “Buy!” And if they fixed the taste.…)

• Annabelle Candy Website

Look! Online:

• at Old Time Candy
• at Amazon.com