Halloween Candy Recipe: Puppy Chow

Puppychow Bowl

One of my favorite candies is one you can make yourself. Commonly called Puppy Chow, this concoction – which requires little baking or time – can also be found at Christmas time with names such as Reindeer Food or Kibble. This sweet treat is a Midwest standard at church bazaars, elementary school craft shows and homemade Halloween parties, so you know it’s gotta be good.

Let me tell you from the start that Puppy Chow is some weird-looking stuff. There’s a reason it’s named after pet food. The finished snack is muddy brown with a white chalky-looking coating. But while this treat may not look very appetizing, once you get over its challenging appearance you won’t be able to stop “chowing down.” Kids love it, and can make it themselves with a little help from an adult. Even as kitchen-challenged as I am, I can whip up a batch in a pinch.

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Halloween Candy Review: Crunchy Tarantulas

Crunchy Tarantulas

We all have trick-or-treaters we really don’t want to give candy to. You know the ones – thug teenagers who have no business being out trick-or-treating, parents asking for candy for their third child who happens to be 2 weeks old (“Yes, she eats breast milk, formula, and a few Snickers here and there”), and repeat customers who come back because they know you give out the good stuff. So what to do with these ne’er-do-wells? Give them some candy that sucks, of course! And I found the perfect candidate – crunchy tarantulas.

I found crunchy tarantulas at the same time I got the gummy brains from Oriental Trading. I really truly thought they would be good – marshmallow, gummy, and hard candy bits? What could be better? Well, for one, eating a bar of soap. Or possibly chemically treated wood pellets. Seriously. Nasty. Stuff.

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Halloween Candy Review: Gummy Brains

Gummy Brains

When I went to the Swedish Fish Party a few weeks back, I salvaged the evening by buying a few varieties of Halloween candy I hadn’t tried before. Unfortunately, it was so overpriced I didn’t buy very much, and what I did buy got devoured on the subway on the way home. So, I didn’t get a chance to review any of it. Last week, we were ordering stuff from Oriental Trading for Halloween gift bags when I saw the very gummy brains I had bought at Dylan’s Candy Bar and decided this was my chance to give them a proper review!

The brains are multicolored with blues, oranges, whites and pinks on peach backgrounds. They’re not quite globular, but instead are somewhat squashed. The brainy ridges are the only thing that make these actually resemble brains; luckily, their flavor redeems them.

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Halloween Candy Review: Leftovers Body Parts Gummies

Leftovers

Gather around the campfire, little Candy Addicts. Did you all bring marshmallows? Of course you did! Now get in close, everyone, because Camp Counselor Laurie’s going to tell you all a spooooky story. It’s the story of Leftovers body-part-shaped gummies.

Did I mention it was spooooky? Because it is. It’s not too late for all of you to go back to your cabins and have a Snickers instead. Nobody’s leaving? Well, OK then, but don’t blame me if you all get nightmares.

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Candy Review: Chum Bucket Mints

Chum Bucket Mints

Very few candies scare me just by hearing the name. I can think of a few though… vomit flavored jellybeans, garlic mints, Hotlix (candy with real bugs in it). I think these Chum Bucket Mints are some of the scariest though.

I’ve had the tin of them for a week or two now but keep finding other things to do rather than try them. But, the time has come and as I sit here writing this, I still have not tried them. The tin says “Chum Flavored Candy,” the ingredients include “artificial seafood flavor” and the smell is telling me to throw them away and don’t try them. “DON’T DO IT, BRIAN!” my brain yells at me. I don’t like most real seafood, so I can’t imagine I will like “artificial seafood flavor” in candy form.

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