What do you eat when you’ve just returned from the dentist? Me, I eat chocolate-covered sunflower seeds in a rainbow of colors. (My mouth is still numb, if you must know the truth. I don’t know why you must, but you Candy Addict readers are relentlessly curious. At least, I like to think so.)

So now you’re thinking three things. 1) He must have had cavities filled. 2) He won’t be able to fully experience the candy I’ve entrusted him to review for me. 3) He’s insane. Two of those three are correct, but I’m not saying which.

Okay, so I like sunflower seeds. And I like chocolate. Let’s put them together and see what we get.

Hey these are pretty tasty. The sunflower seeds are un-roasted, and have no salt. They’re good. And the coating is the right amount of chocolate, such that you get a good balance of seed and cocoa sweetness. The chocolate has cocoa butter, yum. And the coating has Titanium Dioxide, hmm. And various artificial colors. Less yum. (The Sunflower Food and Spice Co. also makes an all-natural version of these candies; I didn’t see those at World Market but I would have preferred to buy them.)

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Chocorooms do not contain mushrooms of any kind. Let’s be clear about that. Not Red Belted Polypore, not Queen Boleti, not Morel. No mushrooms at all. Instead, these are “sweet and crispy” Japanese candies that happen to look like rather small mushrooms. They have cookie-like stems, with chocolate tops.

Okay, so what do these fake fungi taste like? Let’s start at the bottom. The stems are not tasty in the least. They’re very bland, like a really boring biscuit. They remind me of fortune cookies a little bit, too. They also leave a slight film in your mouth.

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Tired of drinking your morning coffee? Why not eat it, surrounded by chocolate? That’s one idea for enjoying DeFranco’s Espresso Secrets, anyway. And wouldn’t that be faster, tastier, and reduce your chance of getting burned? Of course it would. And if you put a crazy amount of sugar in your coffee (like, 14g), then it’d be about the same calories, too (160). Okay, enough numbers.

Almost. This 1.3 oz/36g package contains three good-bite-sized pieces of 55% dark chocolate, with a coffee center. If you want a caffeine kick, you better eat all three. But how’s this candy taste?

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I’ve had some good peanut brittle in my time with Candy Addict, but I’ve never seen these nifty flavor twists: Coco Nutty and Yippee Cayenne. I wonder how they’ll work with the brittle.

Jer’s Handmade Chocolates is a relatively new company in San Diego. I was not happy with their Toffee Break Gourmet Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars, but I’m still ready to like these Brittle Bites – especially given the quality ingredients.

Let’s try the Coco Nutty bites first. These come in a small 1.6 oz box, with four individual, small bite-sized pieces. I pop one in my mouth. The coconut flavor hits first, and strongly. Then the crispy brittle, which is hard to discern because of the strong coconut flakes. Lastly I notice the dark chocolate, quite far in the flavor background. I can see how some people would like these, but to me the coconut flavor’s too strong, masking the brittle and chocolate elements. Oh, and these are peanut brittle, but I couldn’t even taste the peanuts. Let’s try the Yippee Cayenne.

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Jer’s all natural Toffee Break Gourmet Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars have very promising ingredients: organic peanut butter (unhomogenized, using Valencia peanuts), dark chocolate, sugar, sweet cream, salt and butter. (Notice: no trans fat or hydrogenated oils, and no artificial ingredients.) Sounds good, right? Well, you haven’t read his PR.

In the Jer’s Handmade Chocolates press release FAQ that accompanied my sample, founder Jerry Swain asks himself, “Now that you own your own chocolate business, why do you think people enjoy your story?” I won’t bore you with the answer – it’s as banal and self-congratulatory as the rest of the document’s fatuous verbiage. But hey, even hot air balloons sometimes carry good candy, right? So let’s check these out.

The Toffee Break package contains two small-to-average-sized, individually wrapped candy bars (50g, 1.75 oz each). Unless you live in San Diego, you’d have to buy these online. On Amazon, when you include shipping, they cost $35 for 4 packages (for a total of 8 bars). That works out to $8.75 per 3.5 oz package of two bars. Geez, these better be good.

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