I’ve always enjoyed studying history, especially U.S. history. When I learn something new I’m amazed at how ignorant and totally clueless I can be, even when it comes to something as simple as gum.

For years I thought Orbit gum was a relatively new product from Wrigley. Wrong!

Orbit has been around since World War II when Wrigley began shipping all of their gum production overseas to the Armed Forces. With no JuicyFruit, Spearmint or Doublemint available for civilians in the U.S., Wrigley introduced Orbit.

After the war, in 1946, Wrigley brought the big three back to the States and phased out Orbit. It wasn’t until 1976 that Orbit returned – only to Germany, Switzerland, and the Netherlands – as the first sugar-free gum ever released under the Wrigley name.

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I recently reviewed Somebody’s Mother’s Chocolate Sauce over at our sister site, Snackerrific. When Somebody’s Mother sent two more smart little jars of her caramel and white chocolate varieties, the consensus around here was to share this sweet news with our loyal Candy Addicts.

What comes to mind when you think about chocolate sauce? Perhaps thin dark liquids from a can or plastic bottle poured over ice cream or into a glass of milk and stirred vigorously? Well, cast those memories aside. Forever.

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From the folks at Ricolino, who brought you the fun-to-say Bubu Lubu candy bar, comes Chutazo! Chocolate soccer balls filled with “eggnog” flavored goo.

Chutazos are the sporty cousins of Cadbury Eggs with less of the immediate cavity-inducing filling. The Chutazo goo is paltry compared to the Cadbury version, and closer to the color of an egg yolk rather than the contents of a child’s snot-filled Kleenex. If you close your eyes tightly enough the Chutazo filling does taste vaguely of eggnog, with a sustained almond note. Not bad, actually, once you get past the cheap-o chocolate.

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Package disclaimer: “Not recommended for pregnant women, children, or persons sensitive to caffeine.” (This includes YOU, weird pregnant guy expecting your second kid in June!)

Huh? This is just wrong: A candy bar aimed straight at the shaved heads of wacky, Jack-Ass-style twenty-somethings. In this fast-paced and hectic age, do we really need more buzz? I guess someone thinks so.

The Nestle advertising blitz and buzz (can you sense the trend here?) features online videos of highly energized male and female actors playing the part of young adults shaving one another’s heads and spray painting stencils of the Butterfinger Buzz logo onto their freshly revealed scalps. The ads seem to shout: THESE COOL YOUNG PEOPLE ARE CRAZY AND YOU NEED TO HANG OUT WITH THEM RIGHT NOW!! A paintball gun is even used – that was crazy sick YO! No, just stupid. All this for a candy bar? And not a very good one? Come on.

At the very least, the campaign seems forced. Certain candy icons should never be messed with.

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Yesterday I heard words I’ve never heard another human being speak. Ever. Not even Andrew Zimmern. “Mmmm, these maggots are delicious!” Maybe Zimmern has said this, but I’ve never made it more than five minutes into his show before changing channels. I’m more of an Anthony Bourdain guy. But I digress.

From the wacky folks at Archie McPhee I got a package containing Commie Mints, Green Buddha Mints, and Gummy Maggots. Of all the hundreds of items they sell, these are probably among the least interesting, i.e., safest.

The tins each contained roughly 100 chalky white mints the size of baby aspirins. Both the Commies and Buddhas had identical ingredients and were so mild that eating less than six at a time elicited very little minty flavor. I’ll keep the tins and maybe fill ‘em with Altoids or Fisherman’s Friend mints.

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