Whenever I want to eat eggs for breakfast, I usually have to leave the house to do so, as the smell of eggs cooking makes my poor fiance sick. However! My fiance’s aversion to eggs does not extend to chocolate eggs, thank goodness, which means our house becomes an egg-filled wonderland of chocolaty goodness each Easter season. For the egg-shaped candy is the staple of Easter sweets; bypassing even the chocolate bunny over the past few years as the go-to shape for deliciousness. The trick is separating the truly delicious chocolate eggs from the eggs that deserve to go down Willy Wonka’s Eggdicator shoot. Lucky for you, I’m here to help.

I have eaten nearly every type of chocolate in the universe, and I have to say, often the loveliest chocolates are the ones you can buy right in the drug store. It seems a bit wacky to say, but the higher-end chocolate eggs I’ve eaten usually come off as a bit waxy or bitter. Throughout the year, when I need a simple chocolate fix, I keep two staples in my dish: Hershey’s Bliss Milk Chocolate Meltaways, and Dove Dark Chocolate Promises. Both candies are delicious, readily available, and perfectly milky and sweet. So my hopes were high when I received a box of Dove Milk and Dark Chocolate Easter eggs.

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I am fairly certain that marshmallow is the greatest substance in the entire universe. Why marshmallow hasn’t been given a Nobel Awesome Prize is beyond me, but perhaps the best way to celebrate the greatness that is marshmallow is to revel in the explosion of marshmallow goodness that normally takes place around Easter time, when eggs, chicks, bunnies, and other delightfully adorable things all take marshmallow form to bring joy to millions.

I am always on the lookout for random marshmallow candies (preferably chocolate-marshmallow candies, as they are the best) so I was intrigued when I came across an Elmer’s Heavenly Hash Egg, a delightfully old-school confection that I had somehow managed to miss over the past 28 years of my life. But after having one, I can tell you this: I shall never go without an Elmer’s Heavenly Hash Egg again. EVER.

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For those of us who can’t function in the morning without at least two cups of coffee, (or, in my case, a giant Red Bull), the idea of a product that promises the awesomeness of candy plus the benefits of caffeine is hard to beat. And for hardcore caffeinated Candy Addicts, Jitterbeans (or Crackheads Squared) are a dream come true.

I first came across the original Crackheads at last year’s All Candy Expo. The name alone had caused quite a stir, as you can imagine, but as Brian noted in his review of the original Crackheads, it was the addition of white chocolate that really set Crackheads apart from other chocolate covered espresso beans. What I like about the original Crackheads is the sweetness of the chocolate; both the dark and white chocolate used provide a soft, sugary shell for the bitter, crunchy bean within, creating a nice balance of tastes and textures.

Crackheads Squared, or Jitterbeans, as they are alternately known, amp up the taste, texture, and caffeine levels of the original Crackheads. One box of Jitterbeans has 600mg of caffeine – that’s more than 11 colas, 7.5 Red Bulls, or 6 cups of coffee. In other words, you might not want to eat an entire box at once, lest you end up like Jessie Spano on Saved by the Bell.

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Oh, Valentine’s Day. The one day a year when, for some reason, it becomes socially acceptable for respectable adults to stand on the subway carrying giant teddy bears and “I Wuv U” balloons. The world becomes a mass of pink and red, with flowers and hearts and, happily for us, tons of candy boxes lining store shelves. For some people, Valentine’s Day is a big old mushfest, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. For the rest of us, Valentine’s Day is simply the day before February 15, the real holiday, when all of those delicious heart-shaped candy boxes get marked 75% off.

However, there are some options for the anti-pink and red brigade this Valentine’s season, as the folks at M&M’s/Mars are once again promoting their all-green M&M’s packages, an homage to the urban legend that celebrates the, uh, romance-enhancing properties of the green candy shells. On each package of Green M&M’s is Ms. Green herself, sassy as ever, reminding us that green is, in fact, the “New Color of Love.”

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There are certain things my family has to have at Christmas time: a giant tree, a copy of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, and a lovely box of candy on the table at all times. As I come from a family of Candy Addicts, the holiday candy box is always an important choice; normally, we keep things old school and traditional, preferring old-fashioned boxed chocolates to anything else. There’s something very special about a well-made box of chocolates, and this year, our family holiday chocolate box will be coming from a company who knows a little something about quality and tradition: See’s Candies.

Founded in 1921, See’s is an old-fashioned candy company that, according to a friend of mine in Los Angeles, “is all over the place” on the West Coast. As I’m an East Coast kid, I had never had a box of See’s chocolates until about a week ago, when one arrived in the mail. I was immediately excited when I saw the old school packaging: a silver box wrapped with a thin gold ribbon. Good stuff. What I found inside the box, of course, was even better.

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