And then there was U-No. This is the fourth and final oddly-named retro bar in my mini-cycle of candy that spiraled out of a dream I thought I had about overhearing a woman speaking to her husband when in New York City. (The other three candies are Oh Henry! Look!, and the 5th Avenue bar.)
Unlike those other three bars, I had U-No as a kid. And I remember liking it. So today weâ€™ll see if Iâ€™m transported back to those halcyon days of rare treats, or caught in a transporter with a fly, like Jeff Goldblum, with disastrous consequences. And really, Iâ€™m a little worried, because my childhood taste was far from infallible.
Two things I didnâ€™t realize growing up: U-Noâ€™s have powdered buttermilk and crushed almonds in them. That might have freaked me out at 8, but it intrigues me now.
So, will I still like this unique candy in the lunar-module, super-shiny wrapper?
Yes. Yes I do! Call me Ishmael, but this isnâ€™t the white whale from my past that the captain was fearing. No albatross, here. A harpoon full ofâ€¦ okay, Iâ€™ll stop.
But is this bar for everyone? No, itâ€™s not. But check this out. U-Noâ€™s have a very cool, truffle-like interior. Imagine 3 Musketeers, but an even finer, melt-in-your mouth quality. And the flavor is far more interesting than the boring cape-guy candy.
For one thing, the first ingredient is milk chocolate, and unlike the crass and tasteless rush to substitute vegetable oil for real cocoa butter from many big names, U-No still has the real thing. Niiiice.
The filling also has those finely crushed almonds and buttermilk. And Iâ€™m saying FINELY crushed. I mean, these nuts must be pulverized, because if you let a U-No piece melt in your mouth (which it does quite nicely), you are only occasionally left with a minuscule fiber of an almond. But the nuts do give the bar a nice background flavor. As for the buttermilk, it seems to give the truffle-like filling an airy dairy flavor. I donâ€™t get any overt butter or sour flavor at all. Overall, Iâ€™m reminded of a Carnation powered breakfast drink. But smoother. With some nuttiness. And covered in chocolate.
In closing: my childhood self came through. U-No the score, indeed. Yeah, this barâ€™s pretty simple by modern standards, but itâ€™s got a great texture and an unusual airy chocolate, super mild almond taste. I mean, your grandma could lose her dentures and still chomp down on this thing with enjoyment.
(By the way, I never did learn why they named this bar a U-No back in the 1920â€™s. Just waiting for legions of cell-toting text-jockeys, perhaps?)
And so concludes my mini-round up of oddly named retro candy that you can form into a ridiculous sentence. (Professional driver on a closed track. Try this stunt at your own risk.) I think itâ€™s fun to taste the candy bars of your ancestors. Itâ€™s like visiting an antique store with your mouth, but sweet, and without so much dust. So, hey: thanks candy pioneers of the past.
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