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How NOT to Eat a Hershey’s Bar: Rules of Etiquette

Categories: Candy,Chocolate Candy

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Campfire S’More

(image from Alana Elliott at Flickr)

Last week, we invited some friends over for an evening campfire and s’mores. Everyone knows s’mores: graham crackers (blech), marshmallows (okay, getting better), and Hershey’s chocolate bars (yes! give me some). I bought the biggest, thickest Hershey’s bar I could find. I think it weighed 4.2 pounds (1.91kg).

Hershey’s is a smart company, and they know that anyone who has one of their smooth, delicious chocolate bars will be forced (by arm twisting and occasional use of The Rack) to share. For this reason, they mold their chocolate bars into an interesting collection of “mini bars” joined together by “connective chocolate.” The connective chocolate is an ambiguous gray zone that can never be divided equally. By the strictest rules of chocolate etiquette, the person entrusted with breaking the bar into its mini bar pieces must place uniform pressure on each mini bar and attempt to break them into pieces that differ by no more than .001mm in size. Most people cheat.

At any rate, I and my other guests were carefully breaking off one small rectangular-shaped mini bar for each s’more that we made. Keep in mind that it was dark out, and we had only the light of our campfire. We were relying on our mutual trust of one another. Filled with this delusion of trust, I walked to the table and picked up the Hershey’s bar. As the flickering light from the campfire reflected upon it, I saw to my horror that someone had taken three bites out of the chocolate. One-two-three, right across the top. I could see the teeth marks!

I tried to stay calm. I didn’t try to lay blame or have anyone arrested, though I had a strong suspicion that the guilty party was the short guest who kept calling me Mom….

In response to this shameless event, I would like to offer a public service message.

Hershey bar etiquette rule number one:

Break, don’t bite.

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One Response to “How NOT to Eat a Hershey’s Bar: Rules of Etiquette”

  1. 1
    ButterflyKyss says:

    Aha, I believe my short guest that regular makes appearance at all my food-related events (which also, strangely, calls me this ‘mom’ word… I wonder if it’s the same guy?) shares the same lack of etiquette. Since I guard my Hershey’s with my life, it’s usually the cake frosting that takes the hit, little fingerprint shaped hits with the occasional odd tongue-shaped impressions.

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