Tootsie’s Junior Fruit Cremes are probably the most notorious candy to hit the shelves this year, or in recent memory for that matter. Many other candy bloggers have reviewed/lambasted them, and the results have all been the same: abomination (and that’s the nice way of putting it).
So why do you think I wanted to try these after everyone warned me not to? Well, why did anyone go see Sylvester Stallone in a new Rambo movie? In the sagacious words of Mr. Owl, “The world may never know.”
The only thing that prevented me from buying these was that I could not find them anywhere in Austin. Recently, however, I had visited Oklahoma City for work, a place I have never been to before. One of my favorite things about going to a new city is seeing what sort of candy they stock in their supermarkets, gas stations, and drugs stores, as any good candy addict is aware of the regional differences. At the Dollar Tree store, among the outdated and probably expired Carnival Skittles and Coconut 100 Grand Bars (both of which I still bought and consumed), I finally came across Junior Fruit Cremes!
Yay! Who would have ever thought anyone could be so excited to taste bad candy? I bought several boxes actually, just so I could give some a few out to my friends to confirm how awful they really were.
Each piece is the size of a nickel, rising about a quarter-inch in height. They come in three flavors: Orange, Raspberry, and Black Cherry. The coloring of the pieces is in pastels, making this look like the perfect Easter candy. Without knowing what to expect, by sheer aesthetics alone, I would have guessed that these would taste good.
Grabbing a few in my hand, I closed my eyes and popped one into my mouth as if I were swallowing medicine. And I couldn’t believe it! No, these things weren’t very good, but they weren’t very bad either. That doesn’t seem like much, but gathering from the reception these babies have received, this is probably the biggest compliment they ever earned.
Each flavor has a different viscosity and texture to it, which is odd.
Orange: Tastes like an orange creamsicle in chalk form; maybe this is the creme part the name alludes to? Some pieces were soft and some were extra dry.
Raspberry: I don’t taste raspberry or any berry here for that matter. These were all smooth and softer than the orange in terms of the chew. It was like eating a fruit paste, as in berry punch Elmer’s Glue.
Black Cherry: Like the raspberry, couldn’t detect the complexity that a black cherry flavor promises, much less a cherry fruit flavor in general, but this unknown taste had a milkiness to it reminiscent of the orange. Some were soft and some were chalky, but none were very good.
I can fathom why no one liked these, but I couldn’t deduce why everyone hated this candy so much. On the spectrum of candy blunders, I believe Skittles Chocolate Mix was far worse than these could ever be. Could it be that I purchased a bad batch, which in this case is a good thing? This oddity might be attributed to the fact that I purchased these candies from a store notorious in its own right for selling candy the FDA has warned you has gone already bad. But then again, those Carnival Skittles tasted just fine to me.
Buy Junior Fruit Cremes Online:
Man, those chocolate Skittles were sooooo bad.
September 4th, 2008 at 2:45 amThe rainbow twizzlers have been the worst variation on a classic I’ve had. I am a glutton for punishment and will continue to look for the Junior Fruits.
September 4th, 2008 at 1:34 pmYeah, the rainbow Twizzlers were not all that good, but the funky colors almost made up for it. But I’m such a slut for Twizzlers that I’d never, ever say anything overly negative about them.
September 7th, 2008 at 2:28 amI think those Skittles were possibly some of the worst things I have EVER tasted. Just the thought of them makes me shudder…..
September 19th, 2008 at 2:49 pmIt wasn’t the flavor that bothered me, it was the texture. The ones I ate had the texture of soft wax. It doesn’t help that the box art implies a gooey, even liquid-y center. Seeing that, then biting into wax, almost made me gag.
September 30th, 2008 at 2:40 am