Don’t get me wrong, I love to eat candy any ole time, but isn’t there just something more fun and exciting about holiday-centric candy? The packages. The seasonality. The memories. The novelty. (Who cares that Peeps have now become our year-round companion? It’s Easter! They’re yellow! Dive in!) And, for that matter, aren’t candy-centric holidays just way better than all others? Don’t bother to answer, you know it’s true.
Sadly, however, our calendar is wildly unbalanced when it comes to candy holidays. Sure, Halloween through Easter is an endless sugarfest, but what of March (or April) through October? Nada. Nothing. With the exception of a possible Mothers Day chocolate box, it is entirely diabetic friendly. Well no longer! Here at Candy Addict we are rewriting the calendar (or at least reassigning the cause for celebration), in order to remedy this candy holiday wasteland. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you, in chronological order… the Top 10 NEW Candy Holidays:
10. EARTH DAY (4/22)
Yeah, it’s great to celebrate Mother Earth, but wouldn’t it be even better with all green candies? Enough of this marketing green M&Ms for Valentine’s Day. Frankly, I find it a bit greedy. (You already have red and pink!) Let’s let the tree huggers devour these emerald chocolate buttons and all their similarly hued friends on a day that really celebrates their palette. (An alternate option would be recycled candy, but I find that slightly less appetizing.)
9. MEMORIAL DAY (last Monday in May)
For one special day, let’s bring back some of our fallen favorites. Bonkers. Bar None. Wacky Wafers. The original Good ‘n Fruity.
8. NATIONAL CANDY MONTH (June)
It’s Ramadan for Candy Addicts. Except opposite.
7. FATHER’S DAY (3rd Sunday in June)
Mother’s Day already has a respectable candy tradition but, until now, Father’s Day has mostly been the domain of tools and ties. No longer. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? That’s right… hollow chocolate dads. Like hollow chocolate bunnies. I’m picturing Bob the Builder-esque statues doing dad-like things: golfing, mowing the lawn, bringing home the bacon, knocking back a couple gins. (Wait. What?)
6. FOURTH OF JULY (7/4)
Has ever there been a better partner for this holiday than Pop Rocks? Seriously, how has this not yet been thought of? They’re fireworks. That you eat.
5. AUGUST 9TH (8/9)
That would be my birthday. Let’s face it, August needs a candy holiday and it’s my calendar so why the heck not? I’m thinking the best way to celebrate might be with things that don’t melt, so I’m gonna go with jelly beans and gummi bears as the sanctioned treats, but then again, the next day is the official S’mores day (seriously, it’s true), so if you want to start in early on your campfire confection, as the de facto queen of the day, I’ll allow it.
4. LABOR DAY (first Monday in September)
Labor-intensive candies. Lots of chewing. Now and Laters. Taffies. Gummies. Caramels. Slo Pokes and Sugar Daddies. The kind of stuff that gives you TMJ. (Note: The day AFTER Labor Day will heretofore be known as Send Your Orthodontist’s Kids to College Day)
3. INTERNATIONAL CHOCOLATE DAY (9/13)
Hershey’s, Cadbury’s, Ghirardelli, Toblerone. Holding hands and singing in unison.
2. SWEETEST DAY (3rd Saturday in October)
Valentine’s oft ignored and forgotten step-brother? Pshaw. Let’s help this day live up to its sweet name. Sugary treats for one and all!
1. HALLOWEEN EVE/NATIONAL CANDY CORN DAY (10/30)
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that National Candy Corn Day happens to fall on October 30th. Think of it as a warm-up for the main event.
So there you have it – a well-balanced year of candy consumption. Sure, sometimes it’s nice to have an off-season and yeah, some things are most appreciated after a lengthy absence. But candy? Nope. Sorry, not buying it. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s National Candy Month and I have some sacred services to attend.
I totally agree!!! We need more candy holidays. Well, let me rephrase that. I mean more adult candy holidays. I rather like the idea of celebrating that International Chocolate day on September 13. Yummmy!
June 14th, 2008 at 10:46 amInternational Chocolate Day sounds like a good day to offer some discounts on some delicious dark chocolate brands, that way everyone can experience the strong taste of those products.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:09 pmMy husband suggests that since Earth Day falls roughly 6 months after Halloween, it might be a good opportunity to recycle/regift some of the unconsumed (hopefully shelf-stable) candies left over from trick or treat.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:09 pmI’d love to see Candy Ramadan moved to August to cover both of our birthdays!
June 19th, 2008 at 1:05 am[...] Courtesy of Its Candy Bouquet) Back in June, in my Top 10 NEW Candy Holidays list, I proposed bringing some additional sweetness to National Candy Month with the introduction [...]
July 25th, 2008 at 4:01 amI would LOVE to have a national candy corn day! Except have it three days befor Halloween (my birthday). Because candy corn is one of my favorite candy.
February 1st, 2011 at 6:30 pmit is stupid to me and I LOVE candy but this is the most stupidest thing ever.
March 19th, 2012 at 10:59 pmIt is SO SO SO SO SO OS stupid to me and i LOVE candy but this is the most stupidest thing ever. Realy natouinal candy corn day. It looks like it was posted by a five year old
March 19th, 2012 at 11:01 pm