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Limited Edition Candy Rant

Categories: Candy,Limited Edition Candy

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Limited Edition

The following was sent to us via email and since all of us at Candy Addict have fallen in love with a Limited Edition candy or three, I figured it was worth sharing (with permission):

Like the mysterious beauty of sumptuousness that waddles in the night, it is not a deniable charge, we Americans are rather rotund. We are not however, stupid. (mostly)

I have always had a sweet tooth, hell I’ve always had a sweet mouth. And as a child, whatever I found at the store delighted me. “Oh I found a big Hershey bar – magic has surely been done here!” But I am no longer a child and I am fairly certain the tooth fairy is a tooth junkie, and I am not amused, candy companies… not amused….

You litter the field with genre after genre of limited edition candies, some I hate and some I love, and then you yank them away leaving me the crumbs of the same tired fooking thing time after time. Like expecting a full fridge and finding only milk, eggs, and bread… sure you can do lots with them but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Getting rid of Twix Java and leaving us with another PB disaster is the last straw.

Stop giving us remixed, boring candy and take a page from the other countries who do something amazing, and spread themselves out, like the branches of a well-grown tree. Enough crap. Bring back the good, the bad and the different!

We pay your salary, you miserable two-bit toothless old tooth fairies… we may like our butter and creme and fattening convenient things… but that doesn’t mean we’re paying you to kill us with monotony! We’re paying you to make it pleasant to live with dunderheads like YOU!

Signed,
a concerned and peeved consumer
M. Burns

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? What’s your favorite current or past Limited Edition candy?



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11 Responses to “Limited Edition Candy Rant”

  1. 1
    TwizzlerHiccup says:

    Hahaha, this is great, and I totally agree. Bring back Twix Java!!

  2. 2
    SweetToothGranny says:

    Twix Java is the best!!! They are idiots if they do not bring it back. The Java is better than any other coffee candy out there…it is fantastic! Dark, rich and oh so yummy!

    We also need a ‘honeycomb or Sponge’ candy bar, similar to the Violet crumble. It is also a favorite, and most people love honeycomb, so I do not understand why we here in the USA do not have one!!

    Have a sweet day everyone

  3. 3
    Anne-Marie says:

    I miss the InsideOut Reese’s, those were definitely my FAVORITE candy ever.

  4. 4
    catladyofmespo says:

    I just LOVE the Twix Java and have 4 (yes four!) cases of them stashed away. I treat myself once a week, which should make them last for a couple of years…..but please, BRING THEM BACK!!!

  5. 5
    So Good Blog/News Round-Up 5/7/08 | So Good says:

    [...] A rant about limited edition candy. [...]

  6. 6
    Krista says:

    I COMPLETELY agree! Limited edition candy is a cruel and unusual joke!!! Now to get white chocolate m&ms I have to scour the internet and have them shipped from god knows where!!!! Oh to have my sweet little bits of heaven back on the shelves. I work at a grocery store and any time we receive a funny looking case of m&ms I do a double take…like a lost puppy I think MAYBE just MAYBE they’ve come back to me…

  7. 7
    ali says:

    i miss secret bars and vice versas. and having wispas brought back as a limited edition was a cruel trick

  8. 8
    Chase says:

    Hey, whoa whoa whoa…the old PB Twix were my favorite. The new ones with the chocolate cookie though, I agree that they are not up to par. Now if they brought back Cookies and Cream Twix, or the fudge ones, oh boy.

  9. 9
    Terry says:

    At least you got the Twix Java, and the PB Twix, and Reese’s, etc. etc. we don’t get any of them in Britain, so you have no room to complain.

  10. 10
    oakling says:

    i’d say that in the age of the internet there’s no freaking reason to really discontinue limited edition candies. even if they don’t do well enough on their own to make them a regular product, seems like they could make a big batch every so often and sell them online, even for more money. think, candy companies! think!

  11. 11
    Tony says:

    I have a large stash of Java Twix that i picked up from store with them on closeout. $.33 a piece.. They are now refrigerated to enjoy for a long time.

    and Terry, as far as us having no room to complain, you have many unique candies there that most Americans have never even heard of.. so YOU my friend have no room to talk. Much less the fact that the Brits are always talking about ‘those fat Americans’ these treats are why..

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