Today we present another article from a Candy Addict reader. This one is from a reader named Monica:
Whilst on an emergency Listerine run to CVS today (which I hate to do because it costs, like, twice as much as Target but hey, a self-proclaimed Candy Addict’s gotta take care of her pearly whites – oral care is no joking matter, my friend), I somehow managed to find myself – gingivitis’s enemy in arm – wandering down the Christmas aisle, looking for a holiday treat.
Scanning the shelves, I weighed my seasonal options: Chocolate snowman? Boring. Reese’s Christmas tree? York snowflake? I do love candy with a festive shape, but not today. Candy Cane Hershey’s Kisses? Intriguing… Gingerbread Man Marshmallow Peeps? Sacrilege! Oh the fury! The rage! The adorable, delicious rage!
Despite Just Born’s shameless holiday whoring of their Peeps, it is my personal belief (hey, if you don’t believe in something…) that they should be consumed exclusively at Easter (the fine print being that one can consume Easter-themed Peeps throughout the year, if they are amongst the stale-Peeps-loving sect). And the sight of these adorable traitors (man, they are cute) reminded me of one of my finer-crafted emails that directly resulted in one of my mom’s (errr, the Easter Bunny’s) finer-assembled baskets.
Hi Mom,
I have a very important matter to discuss, so please read carefully. No cause for alarm but I feel that, in recent years, you may have lost your way a bit and I want to lend a guiding hand before things spiral wildly and irreparably out of control. Don’t take this personally, but your Easter baskets… have started to suck, so here’s a few basket-stuffing suggestions to help my Easter realize all of it’s glorious Bunny-ing potential:
- Chocolate-Covered Marshmallow Candy (bunnies, eggs, whatever). This is extremely important, and the more of it the better. I would go so far as to say that this is my favorite Easter-time treat.
- Jelly Beans. An Easter basket staple. But not cheap, gross ones. Jelly Belly Jelly Beans are by far the cream of the bean crop, and I realize that they are gourmet and that means expensive. And while I would most certainly acknowledge them as my favorite type of bean, they aren’t necessarily “Easter-y beans” (not that I would ever reject a good Jelly Belly). Gorant’s brand are a superior breed of pectin Easter bean, and they are most highly recommended. Also basket-appropriate would be Starburst brand – though they do rank second to Gorant in the delectable category – Gorant beans have an understatement about them that make one (“one” meaning me) yearn for them every spring.
- Marshmallow Peeps. These are necessary because they are only Easter-appropriate. The Peeps brand exploits their marshmallow wonders in the form of pumpkins, hearts, and most recently, Christmas trees, but I do not approve of such flagrant disregard for marshmallow tradition. Bunnies or Chicks, either is fine, but only yellow will do – pink, purple, heaven help me blue, and whatever other colors they have since come out with are nothing more than vomit-licious.
- Hollow Milk Chocolate. A bunny would be nice. Doesn’t have to be big, but hollow chocolate is a treat rarely enjoyed during any other season, and I don’t want to miss my opportunity.
- Something Chocolatey and Caramelly – I don’t really have anything specific in mind, just sounds good right about now.
Feel free to get creative beyond my suggestions but, I beg of you, do not deviate from these five points. And please don’t try that tired excuse of my being too old for an Easter basket because, much like the traditional basket used this time of year, it simply holds no water.
Love,
Monica
Ahh, memories. It was a glorious Easter indeed…
Oh, and today I went with a chocolate-covered marshmallow Santa. (Not everything is cause for a political rant… sometimes, it’s just candy. Delicious candy.)
