My wife loves to watch my facial reactions to sour candy. In our almost 10 years of marriage she has subjected me to dozens of sour candy concoctions with the sole purpose of seeing the sour-induced agony on my ugly puss. Well, she has reached a new level of torture with Toxic Waste Hazardously Sour Candy.
Over the Easter holiday someone left an Easter basket of goodies for my wife and her co-workers in the break area. In that basket was a drum of Toxic Waste. Of course my wife couldn’t pass up another chance to subject my facial muscles to an extreme workout. She brought home one for each of us, sans herself…go figure, and presented them to me and the boys after dinner. Needless to say, I was the first victim.
I chose watermelon thinking it couldn’t be all that bad, at least not as bad as say, lemon. How can I put this? I was wrong. Toxic Waste is bar none, the most sour candy I have ever put in my mouth. My wife didn’t tell me that you must keep the candy in your mouth for a full sixty seconds if you wish to be counted among the few, the proud, a “Full Toxic Head”. I failed the test and had the candy out of my mouth within about 30 seconds, entitling me only to “Cry Baby” status according to the drum the candy came in.
Not wishing to remain a loser after she filled me in on my Toxic Waste status, I put the candy back in my mouth and was pleased to find that the candy mellowed out into a very tasty watermelon. My false sense of security was soon destroyed when I found out through experience that Toxic Waste candy is the only sour candy on the market that has a “surprise” sour center. What can I say, I love this stuff!
While the candy comes in five flavors: apple, watermelon, lemon, blue raspberry, and black cherry, I have only tried watermelon and lemon. I am proud to say that I was able to withstand the entire test with my lemon Toxic Waste and earned the official title of “Full Toxic Head”. That’s good right?
Great review – thanks, Aaron! If you too want to write a guest review/article for Candy Addict (and get a link to your site), just drop me a note and we’ll see about getting you published on Candy Addict!
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