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The Jellybean Caper

Categories: Candy,Soft Candy

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Today, we stray slightly from our tried-and-true Candy Addict formula and present to you an original candy-themed story by one of our resident wordsmiths

Picture, if you will, a typical New York City studio apartment. It’s small, it’s cramped, and the “river view” consists of a dirty brick wall with a sliver of blue and brown you can almost see if you stick your head through the bars and tilt it just so.

At the desk cluttered with computer paraphernalia, magazines, sheets of paper, and various meal remnants sits our poor, unwitting victim. As we watch, she absentmindedly grabs a few jelly beans out of a bag sitting on her lap. She continues to play solitaire on her computer as she pops first one, then another bean into her mouth. On the third bean, however, something horrible happens. A huge crash resounds as first the keyboard and then the bag of jelly beans fall from her lap and she leaps to her feet. She pays no attention to the mess as she blindly stumbles for the small kitchen sink, reddish drool beginning to drip down her chin.

As she finally reaches the sink, she spits the contents of her mouth into the drain, then turns on the faucet and contorts her neck to allow the cool water to flow into her mouth. She spits again, removing all vestige of the offending taste, straightens up, and stares with disgust at the innocuous looking jelly beans now scattered in every corner of the small room.

What had happened? How could an innocent little jelly bean cause such a reaction in a normally sedate young woman?

The story truly begins about four hours earlier in a small neighborhood candy store. Shelves along the wall are piled high with sweets of all sorts. Bins arranged in the middle of the room hold assorted bulk candies, including one side devoted entirely to gourmet Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. In fact, more than 50 bins are filled with the colorful range of tasty bite-sized morsels.

In front of these bins stands our victim. She can be seen carefully scooping small amounts of jelly beans out of every bin and into a small plastic bag. On second look, though, it’s obvious that she is bypassing a small number of bins. Each bin that is skipped tends to fall into one of two categories: hot or coffee-related. At the bin marked “Sizzling Cinnamon” her nose wrinkles up and gagging noises escape her throat. Clearly, not a flavor she was hoping to try. She finishes up with a small number of Red Apple, carefully twists the top of the bag and ties it closed.

Elsewhere in the store, a young boy, aged about 8 years, stands staring at shelves full of chocolate bars, occasionally jangling and recounting the coins in his hand, as if to do so might miraculously increase the amount he holds. Through an open door at the back of the store, a middle aged man can be seen opening boxes and removing merchandise, which he occasionally brings into the main store and stocks on the shelves. At the register, an older Indian man sits on a stool reading a newspaper.

Here, then, are our suspects. Who could possibly have caused the introduction of the offending bean into the bag of carefully chosen flavors? Our victim is certainly eliminated as a suspect; who would put themselves through such misery on purpose?

The next suspect would almost certainly be the boy. Known for their impish behavior, an 8 year old knave wouldn’t think twice about introducing one flavor of bean into another bin. However, the boy entered the store after the victim, and spent all of his time admiring the chocolate; when then would he have had an opportunity to switch the beans?

It seems that the mystery might never be solved, for why would either of the store employees perpetrate such a heinous act?

Suddenly, however, an event occurs which may shed light on how, exactly, the bean ended up in the bag. As the victim is walking towards the register, a small cry of alarm escapes her, and seconds later the bag of jelly beans crashes to the floor. Not seeing a box sticking out slightly next to the sales counter, she has tripped and dropped the bag, sending the beans flying. Everyone looks towards her as she regains her balance and stares at the mess.

The cashier yells some words to the employee in the back as the young boy snickers and turns back to his chocolate. Our young woman begins to try and pick up the jelly beans, confusion and embarrassment showing red on her face.

From the back comes the employee, who motions for her to let him clean up the spill. She returns to the bins and begins filling another small plastic bag with her choices, this time quickly and haphazardly, only paying cursory attention to which the bins from which her choices came. It is now that the pivotal event occurs. Momentarily distracted by the boy finally choosing a chocolate bar that fits with his meager allowance, she reaches into the “Sizzling Cinnamon” bin and fills the tip of the scoop with the vibrant red beans.

However, as she is beginning to tip the scoop into the bag, she realizes what she has done, and quickly returns the beans to the bin. What she doesn’t realize, however, is that one single, solitary sizzling bean has dropped off the end of the scoop and into the bag. As she takes her last selection, cherry, the bean is buried, a ticking time bomb ready to explode in her unsuspecting mouth.

So then, we have the answer to our mystery. It was no malicious act, but instead was a simple mistake. However, the story teaches us a critical lesson. We all must be vigilant when choosing our candies; never allow anything to distract you from your mission, lest you end up suffering the same fate. The selection of candies suited to your individual tastes is a critical task that should never be compromised. Pay close attention to your actions, and never, under any circumstances, allow yourself to be distracted when making such important decisions. Above all, stay strong and never deviate from the goal of satisfying your delicious Candy Addiction!

candy, sweets, jellybean, jellybeans, Jelly Belly, JellyBelly, caper, mystery

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6 Responses to “The Jellybean Caper”

  1. 1
    Anne says:

    Thanks for a very entertaining post :) Probably not the expected result, but you just made me SO hungry for Jelly Bellies. And as far as I know, they’re not sold in Sweden at all. Must check the American import store, maybe they have some…

  2. 2
    Caitlin says:

    Yeah, it’s pretty sad when you start writing fanfic for candy…

    As an aside, I *love* Jelly Bellies. Juicy Pear… mmmmm

  3. 3
    Sparkina says:

    Candy fiction! Sweet and adorable! I must say, though, I’m rather fond of cinnamon candies myself (even had a lip gloss flavored like cinnamon candy!) And by the way, what is the difference between Jelly Belly’s Sizzling Cinnamon and their just plain Cinnamon?

  4. 4
    Caitlin says:

    Um, well, to me the difference is the degree of disgust I feel when accidentally ingesting one… but for most people, i guess the sizzling is just hotter than the regular.

  5. 5
    Kristen says:

    Loved your story, Caitlin. Of course, being your mother, I’m sort of required to say that. Hugs.

  6. 6
    ZoZoHarle says:

    That was WONDERFUL! ^o^ Hot cinnamon candies shock my taste buds, too! I really enjoyed this. I could read stories about candy all day (if I had the time)! XD

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