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Review: Slammers – Milk With an Attitude

Categories: Candy,Candy Beverages,Candy Reviews,Chocolate Candy




Slammers Ultimate Milk

Let me start off by saying that milk and I do not get along … I’m lactose intolerant. When we were recently contacted by the makers of Slammers Milk, and they offered to send some products for review, I shouted, “HECK, YES!” It wasn’t until afterward that I remembered that I’m lactose intolerant. I quickly went to the supermarket and got some Lactaid so I could consume these the Slammers without any adverse effects.


Starburst Strawberry Slammer

Starburst Fruit & Crème Strawberry Smoothie (Slammers Ultimate Smoothie): This smells just like a a great strawberry shake, but it tastes like watered down strawberry milk. It’s not bad and it’s sweeter then I expected it. It does have the mellow official Strawberry Starburst flavor in there which is almost an afterthought of a taste. It actually has 2% juice added to it too (apple juice in this flavor). Other Starburst flavors are also available: Mixed Berry, Orange, and Peach.


Hard Chocolate Pro Slammers

Pro Slammers Hard Chocolate: This one is just a protein drink whose taste isn’t modeled after a famous candy bar. They labeled the bottle as being “Milk with Attitude,” and there is a picture of Australian extreme rollerblader Shane Yost on the front. It’s 1% low fat milk, and a 14 oz. bottle has 24g of protein (8 more grams than regular milk). Usually, protein drinks are very powdery or chalky tasting and that is almost at a minimum in this drink’s case. The chocolate is cocoa processed with alkali (like an Oreo), but the added milk mutes that down to almost a regular milk chocolate with a hint of Oreo.


3 Musketeers Slammer

3 Musketeers low fat chocolate milk (Slammers Ultimate Milk): This also has the same alkali chocolate and tastes almost the same as the Pro Slammers Hard Chocolate, but it doesn’t have the same chalky thickness. Since 3 Musketeers is fluffy chocolate dipped in chocolate it’s a hard taste to imitate. Overall it just tastes like chocolate milk… a good chocolate milk. It also has a lot less calories and carbs than most of the chocolate milks out there. It has 1% milk fat and no sugar added (they used Splenda brand sucralose and acesulfame potassium).


Milky Way Slammer

Milky Way Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk (Slammers Ultimate Milk). Yum, I was saving this one for last. It has 2% milk fat and lots of real sugar. The chocolate is once again the alkali kind. It’s thicker than the 3 Musketeers Slammer, but not chalky at all. I was hoping for a strong caramel taste mixed with the chocolate, but it just wasn’t there as strong as I wanted. It’s darn good though. The best chocolate milk I have ever had. Good stuff.


Overall, four good milk drinks. One funny thing is they actually have “Contains: Milk” written on the bottles after already listing it in the ingredients list. I guess they need to cover their butts with steel plates for people with allergies. I am glad they didn’t send me a Moon Pie flavored Slammer (they make them). The literature says that they are going to be releasing Cocoa Puffs Slammers and Trix Slammers this Fall! Breakfast in a bottle!

candy, sweets, drink, drinks, beverage, beverages, milk, Milky Way, Starburst, Moon Pie, 3 Musketeers, chocolate



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2 Responses to “Review: Slammers – Milk With an Attitude”

  1. 1
    iportion says:

    I would like to try to the moon pie one.

  2. 2
    Vanessa says:

    i’d like to try the cocoa puffs one.

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