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Bertie Bott’s SPAM Letter

Categories: Candy,Gross Candy,Soft Candy

Bertie Bott's Jellybeans

Here is a letter written by “an 83 year old” responding to some SPAM he got about Bertie Bott’s Jellybeans. It’s pretty funny – here is a snippet:

Candy is a sugary sacred treat. A reward, a prize. Something you can count on to satiate a craving. You’re turning it into a sick game of Russian Roulette. I’ve played that game in a German prison camp in World War II after my battalion was captured, and girl, you don’t want to go there. So please, for the sake of the children, please stop manufacturing this product.
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In reality, it’s not written by an 83 year old. His whole site has funny replies to SPAM written from different “personalities”, but this was the only one I could find about candy.

candy, sweets, jellybean, jellybeans, harry+potter, bertie+botts, jellybelly, jelly+belly, SPAM, email, funny, humor, joke

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2 Responses to “Bertie Bott’s SPAM Letter”

  1. 1
    TJ says:

    This reminds me of a family gathering. We actually played roulette with Bertie Botts. It was a blast. Without looking, a person would pick a bean out of a hat and then hand it to the judges. The judges would confirm the flavor and give it back. The person would then have to eat it and decide the flavor. It they were right, they got a point. The person with the most points won some prize we had. We continued around the room until people started dropping out. We then moved to round two – the person had to pick TWO beens and guess the flavors. The look on someone’s face when they eat a blueberry bean and a vomit bean is classic!!! Or, how about a grassy sardine :)

    RESPONSE: What a great idea!

  2. 2
    Blogging Harry Potter - Bertie Bott’s SPAM Letter says:

    [...] The Candy Addict blog has an hilarious “letter” written by a parody website, in the style of an 83-year old man. The letter was written in response to a piece of spam email in regards to the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. [...]

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